Letter 9.1

From the letter that Atticus read to me from you, I learned what you were doing and where you were. But when we might see you I could not at all gather from the same letter. Yet I am coming to hope that your arrival is approaching. May it be a consolation to me! Although we are pressed by so many and such great troubles that no one but the most foolish could hope for any relief, yet perhaps you can help me or I you in some matter. For you should know that since I came to the city, I have been reconciled with my old friends, that is, with my books. Not that I had abandoned their company because I was angry with them, but because I felt somewhat ashamed before them; for I seemed to myself, having plunged into the most turbulent affairs with the most faithless allies, not to have sufficiently obeyed their precepts. They forgive me, they call me back to our former intimacy, and they say you were wiser than I in having remained faithful to that way of life. Therefore, since I am on good terms with them, I seem justified in hoping that, if I see you, I shall easily weather both the troubles that press upon me and those that threaten. Wherever it suits you, then -- whether at your Tusculan estate or your Cumaean one, or even in Rome, though I would least wish that -- so long as we are together, I shall certainly bring it about that this seems most convenient for both of us.

CDLIV (Fam. IX, 1) TO M. TERENTIUS VARRO ROME (?) From a letter of yours, which Atticus read to me, I learnt what you were doing and where you were; but when we were likely to see you, I could gain no idea at all from the letter. However, I am beginning to hope that your arrival is not far off. I wish it could be any consolation to me! But the fact is, I am overwhelmed by so many and such grave anxieties, that no one but the most utter fool ought to expect any alleviation: yet, after all, perhaps you can give me some kind of help, or I you. For allow me to tell you that, since my arrival in the city, I have effected a reconciliation with my old friends, I mean my books: though the truth is that I had not abandoned their society because I had fallen out with them, but because I was half ashamed to look them in the face. For I thought, when I plunged into the maelstrom of civil strife, with allies whom I had the worst possible reason for trusting, that I had not shown proper respect for their precepts. They pardon me: they recall me to our old intimacy, and you, they say, have been wiser than I for never having left it. Wherefore, since I find them reconciled, I seem bound to hope, if I once see you, that I shall pass through with ease both what is weighing me down now, and what is threatening. Therefore in your company, whether you choose it to be in your Tusculan or Cuman villa, or, which I should like least, at Rome , so long only as we are together, I will certainly contrive that both of us shall think it the most agreeable place possible.

I. Scr. Romae a.u.c. 708 (post Kal. Octobres?). CICERO VARRONI SAL. Ex iis litteris, quas Atticus a te missas mihi legit, quid ageres et ubi esses, cognovi; quando autem te visuri essemus, nihil sane ex iisdem litteris potui suspicari. In spem tamen venio appropinquare tuum adventum: qui mihi utinam solatio sit! etsi tot tantisque rebus urgemur, nullam ut allevationem quisquam non stultissimus sperare debeat; sed tamen aut tu potes me aut ego te fortasse aliqua re iuvare; scito enim me, posteaquam in urbem venerim, redisse cum veteribus amicis, id est cum libris nostris, in gratiam; etsi non idcirco eorum usum dimiseram, quod iis suscenserem, sed quod eorum me suppudebat; videbar enim mihi, cum me in res turbulentissimas infidelissimis sociis demisissem, praeceptis illorum non satis paruisse. Ignoscunt mihi, revocant in consuetudinem pristinam teque, quod in ea permanseris, sapientiorem quam me dicunt fuisse. Quamobrem, quoniam placatis iis utor, videor sperare debere, si te viderim, et ea, quae premant, et ea, quae impendeant, me facile transiturum. Quamobrem, sive in Tusculano sive in Cumano ad te placebit sive, quod minime velim, Romae, dummodo simul simus, perficiam profecto, ut id utrique nostrum commodissimum esse videatur.