Letter 9.2

Your Caninius, who is mine as well, came to me very late in the evening and said he was going to you the next morning. I told him I would give him something. I asked him to come for it in the morning. I wrote a letter during the night, but he did not come back to me; I supposed he had forgotten. And yet I would have sent you that very letter by my own people, had I not heard from the same source that you were leaving your Tusculan estate the next morning. But then, quite unexpectedly, a few days later Caninius came to me in the morning when I least expected it and said he was leaving for your place at once. Although that letter was stale, especially since so much new had happened since then, I did not want my night's work to be wasted, and I gave it to Caninius. But I spoke with him as with a learned man most devoted to you about matters that I believe he has conveyed to you. I give you the same advice I give myself: let us avoid people's eyes, if we cannot so easily avoid their tongues. For those who are elated by their victory look upon us as though we were the defeated, while those who grieve for the defeat of our side are pained that we are alive. You may ask why, when such is the state of things in the city, I am not away, as you are. For you yourself, who surpass both me and others in good sense, saw everything, I believe; nothing at all escaped you. Who has such keen sight that in such great darkness he stumbles on nothing, runs into nothing? And indeed for some time it has occurred to me that it would be well to go somewhere, so as neither to see nor hear the things that are done and said here. But I raised objections to myself: I thought that whoever met me on the road would suspect, or say, even if he did not suspect, as suited his convenience: "This man is either afraid, and that is why he flees, or he is plotting something and has a ship ready." Even the mildest suspicion of one who perhaps knew me best would be that I was leaving because my eyes could not endure the sight of certain men. Suspecting these things, I remain in Rome so far, and yet my hardened habit has by now formed a callus on my resentment. Here is the reasoning behind my plan. My advice to you, then, is this: stay hidden there for a while until this bout of congratulation cools down, and at the same time until we hear how the business has been concluded. For I believe it has been concluded, and it will matter greatly what the victor's temper was and what the outcome of events -- although I have my own conjecture about where things are heading, yet I await the result. But I do not want you, unless the rumor itself has already gone hoarse, to come to Baiae. For it will be more honorable for us, even when we have left here, to be seen to have come to those parts to weep rather than to swim. But you know better about this. Only let this stand between us: to live together in our studies, from which we formerly sought only pleasure but now seek salvation too; not to refuse, if anyone wishes to employ us, to serve not merely as architects but even as builders in constructing the republic, and rather to come running gladly; but if no one makes use of our services, still to write and read works of political philosophy, and if not in the senate house and forum, yet in literature and books, as the most learned of the ancients did, to govern the republic and inquire into morals and laws. These are my views. I would be most grateful if you would write me what you plan to do and what you think best.

CDLIX (Fam. IX, 2) TO M. TERENTIUS VARRO (AT TUSCULUM) ROME (APRIL, AFTER THE 20TH OF APRIL) Caninius , our common friend, having called upon me very late in the evening, and having told me that he was starting to join you in the morning, I told him that I would have something for him to take, and begged him to Call for it in the morning. I finished my letter in the night, but he never Came: I supposed that he had forgotten. Nevertheless, I should have sent you the letter itself by my own letter-carriers, had I not heard from the same friend next day that you were starting from your Tusculan villa in the morning. But now look at, this! All on a sudden a few days later, when I wasn't in the least expecting it, Caninius called on me in the morning, and said that he was starting to join you at once. Though that letter was now stale, especially considering the importance of the news that have since arrived, yet I was unwilling that my night's work should be thrown away, and gave it as it was to Caninius : but I spoke to him as to a man of learning and one warmly attached to you, and I presume that he has conveyed my words to you. However, I give you the same counsel that I give myself — to avoid men's eyes, if we find it difficult to avoid their tongues. For those who give themselves airs about the victory regard us in the light of defeated enemies: while those who are vexed at our friends' defeat regret that we remain alive. You will ask perhaps why, this being the state of things in the city, I have not left town like yourself? You, I presume, you, who surpass both me and others in the clearness of your perceptions, divined it all! Nothing of course escaped you! Why, who is so much of a Lynceus as, in such pitchy darkness, never to stumble on anything, never to blunder against anything anywhere? For my part, it long ago occurred to my mind how pleasant a thing it would be to go out of town somewhere, so as to avoid seeing and hearing what is being done and said here. But I had certain misgivings: my idea was that everyone who met me on the road would, as it suited his particular point of view, suspect, or, even if he did not suspect it, would say: “This fellow is either frightened, and therefore is running away, or he is meditating some move and has a ship ready prepared.” In fact, even the man whose suspicion was the least malicious, and who perhaps knew me best, would have thought my motive for going was that my eyes could not endure the sight of certain persons. From some such misgivings as these I am as yet staying on at Rome , and after all, long habit has insensibly covered over the wound and deadened my indignation. That is the explanation of my policy. For yourself, then, what I think you should do is this: remain in retirement where you are until such time as this exultation is past boiling point, and at the same time till we hear particulars of the decisive struggle: for decisive I think it was. But it will make all the difference what the feeling of the conqueror is, and how the campaign has ended. Though I am able to make a shrewd guess, still I wait, after all, for information. Nor, indeed, would I have you starting for Baiae until rumour has shouted itself hoarse. For it will be more to our credit, even when we do quit the city, to be thought to have come to that neighbourhood rather to weep than to swim. But you know all this better than I. Only let us abide by our resolve to live together in pursuit of those studies of ours, from which we formerly sought only pleasure, but now seek also the preservation of our lives. And if anyone wishes for our services-not merely as architects, but also as workmen to build up the constitution-let us not refuse to assist, but rather hasten with enthusiasm to the task. And if, on the other hand, no one will employ us, let us compose and read “Republics.” And if we cannot do so in the senate-house and forum, yet at least (after the example of the most learned of the ancients) on paper and in books let us govern the state, and investigate its customs and laws. These are my views. You will very much oblige me if you will write and tell me what you mean to do and what your opinion is.

II. Scr. Romae exeunte mense Aprili a.u.c. 708. CICERO VARRONI. Caninius tuus et idem noster, cum ad me pervesperi venisset et se postridie mane ad te iturum esse dixisset, dixi ei me daturum aliquid; mane ut peteret, rogavi: conscripsi epistulam noctu; nec ille ad me rediit: oblitum credidi. Ac tamen eam ipsam tibi epistulam misissem per meos, nisi audissem ex eodem postridie te mane e Tusculano exiturum. At tibi repente paucis post diebus, cum minime exspectarem, venit ad me Caninius mane; proficisci ad te statim dixit. Etsi erat ßvlow illa epistula, praesertim tantis postea novis rebus allatis, tamen perire lucubrationem meam nolui et eam ipsam Caninio dedi; sed cum eo ut cum homine docto et tui amantissimo locutus ea sum, quae pertulisse illum ad te existimo. Tibi autem idem consilii do, quod mihimet ipsi, ut vitemus oculos hominum, si linguas minus facile possumus; qui enim victoria se efferunt, quasi victos nos intuentur, qui autem victos nostros moleste ferunt, nos dolent vivere. Quaeres fortasse, cur, cum haec in urbe sint, non absim, quemadmodum tu. Tu enim ipse, qui et me et alios prudentia vincis, omnia, credo, vidisti, nihil te omnino fefellit: quis est tam Lynceus, qui in tantis tenebris nihil offendat, nusquam incurrat? Ac mihi quidem iam pridem venit in mentem bellum esse aliquo exire, ut ea, quae agebantur hic quaeque dicebantur, nec viderem nec audirem; sed calumniabar ipse: putabam, qui obviam mihi venisset, ut cuique commodum esset, suspicaturum aut dicturum, etiamsi non suspicaretur: "hic aut metuit et ea re fugit aut aliquid cogitat et habet navem paratam." Denique, levissime qui suspicaretur et qui fortasse me optime novisset, putaret me idcirco discedere, quod quosdam homines oculi mei ferre non possent. Haec ego suspicans adhuc Romae maneo, et tamen lelhyÒtvw consuetudo diuturna callum iam obduxit stomacho meo. Habes rationem mei consilii; tibi igitur hoc censeo: latendum tantisper ibidem, dum defervescat haec gratulatio, et simul, dum audiamus, quemadmodum negotium confectum sit; confectum enim esse existimo, magni autem intererit, qui fuerit victoris animus, qui exitus rerum, quamquam, quo me coniectura ducat, habeo, sed exspecto tamen. Te vero nolo, nisi ipse rumor iam raucus erit factus, ad Baias venire; erit enim nobis honestius, etiam cum hinc disceserimus, videri venisse in illa loca ploratum potius quam natatum. Sed hoc tu melius; modo nobis stet illud: una vivere in studiis nostris, a quibus antea delectationem modo petebamus, nunc vero etiam salutem; non deesse, si quis adhibere volet, non modo ut architectos, verum etiam ut fabros, ad aedificandam rem publicam, et potius libenter accurrere; si nemo utetur opera, tamen et scribere et legere polite¤aw et, si minus in curia atque in foro, at in litteris et libris, ut doctissimi veteres fecerunt, gubernare rem publicam et de moribus ac legibus quaerere. Mihi haec videntur: tu quid sis acturus et quid tibi placeat, pergratum erit, si ad me scripseris.