Letter 16.1

I thought I could bear missing you a little more easily, but I simply cannot. Although it matters a great deal for my public honor that I reach Rome as soon as possible, I still feel that I was wrong to leave you. But since you seemed determined not to sail until your body had fully recovered, I approved your decision, and I do not change my mind now if that is still what you think best. If, however, now that you have been able to take food, you think you can catch up with me, the decision is yours. I sent Mario to you so that he might either come back to me with you as soon as possible or, if you stayed where you are, return to me at once. Make yourself believe this: if it can be done without harming your health, there is nothing I want more than to have you with me. But if you understand that you need to stay a little longer at Patrae to recover, there is nothing I want more than for you to be well. If you sail at once, catch us at Leucas. If you want to regain your strength first, take great care to have good companions, suitable weather, and a proper ship. Above all, my dear Tiro, if you love me, do not let Mario's arrival or this letter sway you. If you do whatever most helps your health, you will be obeying my wishes best of all. Think this through with your own good judgment. We miss you because we love you. Love urges us to see you healthy; longing urges us to see you as soon as possible. Choose the first. So make your health your chief care. Of all your countless services to me, this will be the most welcome.

CCLXXXIV (Fam. XVI, 1) TO TIRO (ILL AT PATRAE) ON THE VOYAGE FROM PATRAE TO ALYZIA (3 NOVEMBER) GREETINGS to their dear Tiro from Tullius and my son, brother, and nephew. I did not think I should miss you so much, but I really cannot do without you: and though it is of great consequence to securing my triumph that I should arrive at the city wall as early as possible, yet I feel guilty for having left you: but as you seemed to have made up your mind that you quite determined not to sail till you had recovered your strength, I expressed approval of your plan, nor do I now retract it, if you are still of the same way of thinking. If; however, after having taken food, you think you can overtake me, you must decide for yourself. I have sent Mario to you with directions to rejoin me as soon as possible with you, or, if you are still delayed, to return at once. But pray be fully assured of this: if it is compatible with your state of health, my first desire is to have you with me: if; however, you are certain that a short stay at Patrae is necessary for your convalescence, my first desire is that you should be well. If you set sail at once, you will catch us up at Leucas : but if you determine to stay to confirm your health, pray take particular care to secure suitable fellow travelers, weather, and ship. Be especially careful, dear Tiro , as you love me, not to allow Mario 's arrival or this letter to influence you. If you do what will best conduce to your recovery, you will be most strictly obeying my wishes. In considering these matters let your own heart be your guide. I miss you: yes! but I also love you, Love prompts the wish to see you in good heath; the other motive would make me wish to see you as soon as possible. The former is therefore to be preferred. Accordingly, let your first care be to get well: of the innumerable services you have done me this will be the most acceptable. 3 November.

I. Scr. in itinere III. Non. Nov. a.u.c. 704. TULLIUS TIRONI SUO SAL. PLUR. DIC. ET CICERO MEUS ET FRATER ET FRATRIS F. Paullo facilius putavi posse me ferre desiderium tui, sed plane non fero et, quamquam magni ad honorem nostrum interest quam primum ad urbem me venire, tamen peccasse mihi videor, qui a te discesserim; sed, quia tua voluntas ea videbatur esse, ut prorsus nisi confirmato corpore nolles navigare, approbavi tuum consilium, neque nunc muto, si tu in eadem es sententia; sin autem, posteaquam cibum cepisti, videris tibi posse me consequi, tuum consilium est. Marionem ad te eo misi, ut aut tecum ad me quam primum veniret aut, si tu morarere, statim ad me rediret. Tu autem tibi hoc persuade: si commodo valetudinis tuae fieri possit, nihil me malle quam te esse mecum; si autem intelliges opus esse te Patris convalescendi causa paullum commorari, nihil me malle quam te valere. Si statim navigas, nos Leucade consequere; sin te confirmare vis, et comites et tempestates et navem idoneam ut habeas, diligenter videbis. Unum illud, mi Tiro, videto, si me amas, ne te Marionis adventus et hae litterae moveant: quod valetudini tuae maxime conducet, si feceris, maxime obtemperaris voluntati meae. Haec pro tuo ingenio considera. Nos ita te desideramus, ut amemus; amor, ut valentem videamus, hortatur, desiderium, ut quam primum: illud igitur potius. Cura ergo potissimum, ut valeas: de tuis innumerabilibus in me officiis erit hoc gratissimum. III Non. Nov.