Marcus Tullius Cicero→Titus Pomponius Atticus|c. 43 BC|Cicero|From Rome|To Rome/Athens|AI-assisted
On the sixth of August, when I had set out from Leucopetra (for that was where I was making my crossing) and had advanced some three hundred stades, I was driven back by a strong south wind to that same Leucopetra. While I was waiting there for the wind (for it was the villa of our friend Valerius, so that I was on intimate and welcome terms), certain distinguished men of Regium came there, quite fresh from Rome, and among them a guest-friend of our Brutus who said he had left Brutus at Naples. They brought this news: an edict of Brutus and Cassius, and that there would be a full Senate on the first of the month, and that a letter had been sent by Brutus and Cassius to the ex-consuls and ex-praetors requesting them to attend. They announced that there was the highest hope that Antony would give way, that matters would be settled, and that our friends would return to Rome. They added, too, that I was being missed and was coming in for some blame.
[2] When I had heard this, without any hesitation I threw aside my plan of departure, in which, by Hercules, I had taken no pleasure even before. But once I had read your letter, I was indeed astonished that you had changed your opinion so vehemently; yet I judged it was not without reason. And yet, although you were not the one who urged and pushed me into the journey, you were certainly its approver, provided that I should be at Rome by the first of January. So it came about that, while there seemed to be less danger, I should be away, and should walk into the very flame itself. But this, even if it was not prudent, is nevertheless not a matter for resentment [Greek: anemesheta, 'not to be reproached']—first because it was done according to my own judgment, and then, even if on your authority, what ought a man who gives counsel to guarantee beyond his good faith? But that one thing I could not sufficiently wonder at, which you wrote in these words: 'A fine thing, then, for you who talk of a noble death [Greek: euthanasian], a fine thing! Abandon your country.' Was I abandoning it, or did I seem to you then to be abandoning it? You not only did not forbid that course but even approved it.
[3] What remains is harder still. I should like you to file down some little marginal note [Greek: scholion] for me: 'It was your duty to do that.' Is that so, my dear Atticus? Does my deed need defending, especially before you, who approved it wonderfully? I, for my part, will compose that defense [Greek: apologismon suntaxomai], but for one of those men against whose wishes and dissuasion I set out. And yet, what need is there now of a marginal note [Greek: scholio]? 'If you had persevered, there would have been need.' 'But this very thing was done without consistency.' No learned man ever (and much has been written on this kind of question) called a change of plan inconsistency.
[4] So then, next comes this: 'For if you were a follower of our Phaedrus, the excuse would be ready at hand; but as it is, what do we answer?' So was my deed, then, one that I could not prove acceptable to Cato? Full of scandal, no doubt, and of disgrace. Would that it had seemed so to you from the first! You would have been my Cato, as you are wont to be.
[5] That last point is positively the most galling of all: 'For our Brutus keeps silent,' that is, he does not dare to admonish a man of my years. I have nothing else that I think is signified by those words of yours, and by Hercules it is so. For on the sixteenth before the Kalends of September, when I had come to Velia, Brutus heard of it; for he was with his own ships at the river Hales, three miles this side of Velia. He came to me at once on foot. Immortal gods, how greatly he, rejoicing at my return—or rather at my turning back—poured out all those things he had kept silent! So that I recalled that remark of yours, 'For our Brutus keeps silent.' But he was grieved most of all that I had not been in the Senate on the first of August. He praised Piso to the skies; and he said he was glad that I had escaped two very great grounds for censure: one, which I was aware I was incurring by making the journey, that of despair and of abandoning the Republic (people commonly lamented with me in tears, men whom I could not persuade of my swift return); the other, over which Brutus and those who were with him (and there were many) rejoiced, namely that I had escaped the reproach of being thought to be going to the Olympic Games. There could be nothing more shameful than this at any moment of the Republic, but at this one it is past all defense [Greek: anapologeton]. I, for my part, am marvelously grateful to the south wind, which turned me away from such great infamy.
[6] These are the showy reasons for my turning back; I have those just and weighty ones too. But none is more just than this, which you yourself put in another letter: 'See to it, if anything is owed to anyone, that there be means from which like may be repaid for like. For there is a remarkable scarcity of cash [Greek: dyschrestia] because of the fear of arms.' I read this letter in the middle of the strait, so that it did not come into my mind how I could see to anything except by being present to defend myself in person. But enough of this; the rest when we meet.
[7] I have read Antony's edict from Brutus, and the splendidly written reply of these men against it; but what force those edicts have, or what they aim at, I plainly do not see. Nor do I now, as Brutus thought, come there to take up the management of public affairs. For what can be done? Did anyone agree with Piso? Did he himself come back the next day? But they say a man of my age ought not to be far from the grave.
[8] But I beg you, what is this that I have heard from Brutus? He said you had written that Pilia is being attacked by paralysis [Greek: peirazesthai paralysei]. I am very greatly disturbed. And yet he said that you also write that you hope for better. So indeed I should much wish, and please give her my warmest greetings, and to sweetest Attica too. I have written this while sailing, as I was nearing my place at Pompeii, on the fourteenth before the Kalends.
When I had started from Leucopetra—for that was where I began my crossing—on the sixth of August and gone some forty miles, I was driven back to Leucopetra again by a strong south wind. While I was waiting there for the wind—our friend Valerius has a house there, so I was at home and enjoying myself—there came some men of mark of Regium, fresh from Rome, among them a guest of our friend Brutus, who said he had left Brutus at Naples. They brought an edict of Brutus and Cassius and news that there would be a full meeting of the House on the first of the month and that a letter had been sent by Brutus and Cassius to the ex-consuls
and ex-praetors asking them to be present. They said there were great hopes that Antony might yield, some agreement be arrived at, and our friends allowed to return to Rome; and they added that I was missed and people were inclined to blame me.
When I heard that, I had no hesitation about giving up my idea of going away, which to be sure I had never fancied even before that: and when I read your letter, I was certainly surprised that you had so utterly changed your opinion; but there seemed to me to be good reason for it. However, though it was not you who persuaded and urged me to go, you certainly approved of my going, if I got back by the end of the year. That would have meant, that, when there was little danger, I should have been away, and should return when it was in full blaze. But that, although it was not a counsel of prudence, I have no right to resent, first because it happened by my own wish, and secondly, even if you had advised me, an adviser need not guarantee anything but his sincerity. What did astonish me beyond measure was that you should use the words: "A fine thing for you, who talk of a noble death, a fine thing, i' faith. Go, desert your country." Was I deserting it, or did you at the time think I was deserting it? You not only raised no finger against it, you even approved of it. The rest is even more severe: "I wish you would write me an explanatory note showing that it was your duty to do it?" So, my dear Atticus? Does my action need defending, especially to you, who expressed strong approval? Yes, I will write a defence, but for some of those who opposed my going and spoke against it.
Though what need is there of an explanatory note? If I had gone on, there would have been. "But coming back is not consistent." No philosopher ever called a change of plan inconsistency, though there has been a good deal written on the point. So you add: "If you were a follower of our friend Phaedrus, one would have a defence ready: but, as it is, what answer can one give?" So my deed was one Cato would not approve of, was it? Of course then it was criminal and disgraceful. Would to heaven you had thought so at first; you should have been my Cato, as you usually are. Your last cut is the most unkind of all: "For our friend Brutus holds his peace," that is to say, he does not dare remonstrate with a man of my age. I see no other meaning that I can attach to your words, and no doubt that is it. For on the 17th, when I reached Velia, Brutus heard of it—he was with his boats on the river Heles about three miles from Velia; and he came at once on foot to see me. Great heavens, how he let out all his pent-up silence in joy at my return or rather my turning back. I could not help thinking of your "Our friend Brutus holds his peace." But what he regretted most was that I was not in the House on the first of August. Piso he lauded to the skies: and he expressed his delight that I had escaped two grounds for reproach. One of these was that of despairing and abandoning the country—and that I knew I might incur in undertaking the voyage; for many had complained to me with tears in their eyes, and I could not convince them of my speedy return. The other point that rejoiced Brutus and those who were with him—and there
were a lot of them—was that I had escaped the reproach of being thought to be going to the Olympian games. Nothing could be more disgraceful than that in any political circumstances, but at the present time it would be inexcusable. I of course felt very grateful to the south wind, which had saved me from such infamy.
There you have the ostensible reasons for my return; and they are good and sufficient reasons too; but none of them is better than one you mention in your letter: "If you owe anything to anyone, take measures to provide yourself with the means to pay each his due. For the money market is wonderfully tight owing to fear of war." I was in the middle of the straits when I read this letter, and I could not think of any way of taking measures, unless I came to look after it myself. But enough of this; more when we meet.
I got a sight of Antony's edict from Brutus, and of our friends' magnificent answer; but I don't quite see the use or the object of these edicts. Nor have I come as Brutus thought, to take part in the management of affairs. For what can be done? Did anybody agree with Piso? Did he himself come back the next day? But, as the saying goes, a man of my time of life ought not to go far from his grave.
But for mercy's sake what is this that I hear from Brutus! He says you told him Pilia had had an attack of paralysis. I am very much disturbed about it, though he tells me you say you hope she is better. I sincerely hope she is; give her and darling Attica my best regards. This I have written on ship-board, as I was getting near to Pompeii, Aug. 19.
viii Idus Sextil. cum a Leucopetra profectus (inde enim tramittebam) stadia circiter ccc processissem, reiectus sum austro vehementi ad eandem Leucopetram. ibi cum ventum exspectarem (erat enim villa Valeri nostri, ut familiariter essem et libenter), Regini quidam illustres homines eo venerunt Roma sane recentes, in iis Bruti nostri hospes qui Brutum Neapoli reliquisset. haec adferebant, edictum Bruti et Cassi, et fore frequentem senatum Kalendis, a Bruto et Cassio litteras missas ad consularis et praetorios ut adessent rogare. summam spem nuntiabant fore ut Antonius cederet, res conveniret, nostri Romam redirent. addebant etiam me desiderari, subaccusari. [2] quae cum audissem, sine ulla dubitatione abieci consilium profectionis quo me hercule ne antea quidem delectabar. Lectis vero tuis litteris admiratus equidem sum te tam vehementer sententiam commutasse, sed non sine causa arbitrabar. etsi, quamvis non fueris suasor et impulsor profectionis meae, adprobator certe fuisti, dum modo Kal. Ian. Romae essem. ita fiebat ut, dum minus periculi videretur, abessem, in flammam ipsam venirem. sed haec, etiam si non prudenter, tamen a)neme/shta sunt, primum quod de mea sententia acta sunt, deinde etiam si te auctore, quid debet qui consilium dat praestare praeter fidem? illud admirari satis non potui quod scripsisti his verbis, 'bene igitur tu qui eu)qanasi/an , bene! relinque patriam.' an ego relinquebam aut tibi tum relinquere videbar? tu id non modo non prohibebas verum etiam adprobabas. graviora quae restant velim sxo/lion aliquod elimes ad me oportuisse te istuc facere.' itane, mi Attice? defensione eget meum factum, praesertim apud te qui id mirabiliter adprobasti? ego vero istum a)pologismo\n sunta/comai , sed ad eorum aliquem quibus invitis et dissuadentibus profectus sum. etsi quid iam opus est sxoli/w? ? 'si perseverassem, opus fuisset. 'at hoc ipsum non constanter.' nemo doctus umquam (multa autem de hoc genere scripta sunt) mutationem consili inconstantiam dixit esse. [4] deinceps igitur haec, 'nam si a Phaedro nostro esses, expedita excusatio esset; nunc quid respondemus?' ergo id erat meum factum quod Catoni probare non possim? flagiti scilicet plenum et dedecoris. Vtinam a primo ita tibi esset visum! tu mihi, sicut esse soles, fuisses Cato. [5] extremum illud vel molestissimum, 'nam Brutus noster silet,' hoc est, non audet hominem id aetatis monere. aliud nihil habeo quod ex iis a te verbis significari putem, et hercule ita est. nam xvi Kal. Sept. cum venissem Veliam, Brutus audivit; erat enim cum suis navibus apud Haletem fluvium citra Veliam milia passus III. pedibus ad me statim. di immortales, quam valde ille reditu vel potius reversione mea laetatus effudit illa omnia quae tacuerat! ut recordarer illud tuum. 'nam Brutus noster silet.' maxime autem dolebat me Kal. Sext in senatu non fuisse. Pisonem ferebat in caelum; se autem laetari quod effugissem duas maximas vituperationes, unam, quam itinere faciendo me intellegebam suscipere, desperationis ac reictionis rei publicae (flentes mecum vulgo querebantur quibus de meo celeri reditu non probabam), alteram, de qua Brutus et qui una erant (multi autem erant) laetabantur, quod eam vituperationem effugissem me existimari ad Olympia. hoc vero nihil turpius quovis rei publicae tempore sed hoc a)napolo/ghton . ego vero austro gratias miras qui me a tanta infamia averterit. [6] reversionis has speciosas causas habes iustas illas qui dem et magnas; sed nulla iustior quam quod tu idem aliis litteris, 'provide, si cui quid debetur, ut sit unde par pari respondeatur. mirifica enim dusxrhsti/a est propter metum armorum.' in freto medio hanc epistulam legi, ut quid possem providere in mentem mihi non veniret nisi ut praesens me ipse defenderem. sed haec hactenus; reliqua coram. [7] Antoni edictum legi a Bruto et horum contra scriptum praeclare; sed quid ista edicta valeant aut quo spectent plane non video. nec ego nunc, ut Brutus censebat, istuc ad rem publicam capessendam venio. quid enim fieri potest? num quis Pisoni est adsensus? num rediit ipse postridie? sed abesse hanc aetatem longe a sepulcro negant oportere. [8] sed obsecro te, quid est quod audivi de Bruto? Piliam peira/zesqai paralu/sei te scripsisse aiebat. valde sum commotus. etsi idem te scribere sperare melius. ita plane velim et ei dicas plurimam salutem et suavissimae Atticae. haec scripsi navigans cum <prope> Pompeianum accederem xiiii Kal.
◆
On the sixth of August, when I had set out from Leucopetra (for that was where I was making my crossing) and had advanced some three hundred stades, I was driven back by a strong south wind to that same Leucopetra. While I was waiting there for the wind (for it was the villa of our friend Valerius, so that I was on intimate and welcome terms), certain distinguished men of Regium came there, quite fresh from Rome, and among them a guest-friend of our Brutus who said he had left Brutus at Naples. They brought this news: an edict of Brutus and Cassius, and that there would be a full Senate on the first of the month, and that a letter had been sent by Brutus and Cassius to the ex-consuls and ex-praetors requesting them to attend. They announced that there was the highest hope that Antony would give way, that matters would be settled, and that our friends would return to Rome. They added, too, that I was being missed and was coming in for some blame.
[2] When I had heard this, without any hesitation I threw aside my plan of departure, in which, by Hercules, I had taken no pleasure even before. But once I had read your letter, I was indeed astonished that you had changed your opinion so vehemently; yet I judged it was not without reason. And yet, although you were not the one who urged and pushed me into the journey, you were certainly its approver, provided that I should be at Rome by the first of January. So it came about that, while there seemed to be less danger, I should be away, and should walk into the very flame itself. But this, even if it was not prudent, is nevertheless not a matter for resentment [Greek: anemesheta, 'not to be reproached']—first because it was done according to my own judgment, and then, even if on your authority, what ought a man who gives counsel to guarantee beyond his good faith? But that one thing I could not sufficiently wonder at, which you wrote in these words: 'A fine thing, then, for you who talk of a noble death [Greek: euthanasian], a fine thing! Abandon your country.' Was I abandoning it, or did I seem to you then to be abandoning it? You not only did not forbid that course but even approved it.
[3] What remains is harder still. I should like you to file down some little marginal note [Greek: scholion] for me: 'It was your duty to do that.' Is that so, my dear Atticus? Does my deed need defending, especially before you, who approved it wonderfully? I, for my part, will compose that defense [Greek: apologismon suntaxomai], but for one of those men against whose wishes and dissuasion I set out. And yet, what need is there now of a marginal note [Greek: scholio]? 'If you had persevered, there would have been need.' 'But this very thing was done without consistency.' No learned man ever (and much has been written on this kind of question) called a change of plan inconsistency.
[4] So then, next comes this: 'For if you were a follower of our Phaedrus, the excuse would be ready at hand; but as it is, what do we answer?' So was my deed, then, one that I could not prove acceptable to Cato? Full of scandal, no doubt, and of disgrace. Would that it had seemed so to you from the first! You would have been my Cato, as you are wont to be.
[5] That last point is positively the most galling of all: 'For our Brutus keeps silent,' that is, he does not dare to admonish a man of my years. I have nothing else that I think is signified by those words of yours, and by Hercules it is so. For on the sixteenth before the Kalends of September, when I had come to Velia, Brutus heard of it; for he was with his own ships at the river Hales, three miles this side of Velia. He came to me at once on foot. Immortal gods, how greatly he, rejoicing at my return—or rather at my turning back—poured out all those things he had kept silent! So that I recalled that remark of yours, 'For our Brutus keeps silent.' But he was grieved most of all that I had not been in the Senate on the first of August. He praised Piso to the skies; and he said he was glad that I had escaped two very great grounds for censure: one, which I was aware I was incurring by making the journey, that of despair and of abandoning the Republic (people commonly lamented with me in tears, men whom I could not persuade of my swift return); the other, over which Brutus and those who were with him (and there were many) rejoiced, namely that I had escaped the reproach of being thought to be going to the Olympic Games. There could be nothing more shameful than this at any moment of the Republic, but at this one it is past all defense [Greek: anapologeton]. I, for my part, am marvelously grateful to the south wind, which turned me away from such great infamy.
[6] These are the showy reasons for my turning back; I have those just and weighty ones too. But none is more just than this, which you yourself put in another letter: 'See to it, if anything is owed to anyone, that there be means from which like may be repaid for like. For there is a remarkable scarcity of cash [Greek: dyschrestia] because of the fear of arms.' I read this letter in the middle of the strait, so that it did not come into my mind how I could see to anything except by being present to defend myself in person. But enough of this; the rest when we meet.
[7] I have read Antony's edict from Brutus, and the splendidly written reply of these men against it; but what force those edicts have, or what they aim at, I plainly do not see. Nor do I now, as Brutus thought, come there to take up the management of public affairs. For what can be done? Did anyone agree with Piso? Did he himself come back the next day? But they say a man of my age ought not to be far from the grave.
[8] But I beg you, what is this that I have heard from Brutus? He said you had written that Pilia is being attacked by paralysis [Greek: peirazesthai paralysei]. I am very greatly disturbed. And yet he said that you also write that you hope for better. So indeed I should much wish, and please give her my warmest greetings, and to sweetest Attica too. I have written this while sailing, as I was nearing my place at Pompeii, on the fourteenth before the Kalends.
AI-assisted translation - This translation was produced with AI assistance and has not been peer-reviewed. See the 19th-century translation or original Latin/Greek below for scholarly use.
Latin / Greek Original
viii Idus Sextil. cum a Leucopetra profectus (inde enim tramittebam) stadia circiter ccc processissem, reiectus sum austro vehementi ad eandem Leucopetram. ibi cum ventum exspectarem (erat enim villa Valeri nostri, ut familiariter essem et libenter), Regini quidam illustres homines eo venerunt Roma sane recentes, in iis Bruti nostri hospes qui Brutum Neapoli reliquisset. haec adferebant, edictum Bruti et Cassi, et fore frequentem senatum Kalendis, a Bruto et Cassio litteras missas ad consularis et praetorios ut adessent rogare. summam spem nuntiabant fore ut Antonius cederet, res conveniret, nostri Romam redirent. addebant etiam me desiderari, subaccusari. [2] quae cum audissem, sine ulla dubitatione abieci consilium profectionis quo me hercule ne antea quidem delectabar. Lectis vero tuis litteris admiratus equidem sum te tam vehementer sententiam commutasse, sed non sine causa arbitrabar. etsi, quamvis non fueris suasor et impulsor profectionis meae, adprobator certe fuisti, dum modo Kal. Ian. Romae essem. ita fiebat ut, dum minus periculi videretur, abessem, in flammam ipsam venirem. sed haec, etiam si non prudenter, tamen a)neme/shta sunt, primum quod de mea sententia acta sunt, deinde etiam si te auctore, quid debet qui consilium dat praestare praeter fidem? illud admirari satis non potui quod scripsisti his verbis, 'bene igitur tu qui eu)qanasi/an , bene! relinque patriam.' an ego relinquebam aut tibi tum relinquere videbar? tu id non modo non prohibebas verum etiam adprobabas. graviora quae restant velim sxo/lion aliquod elimes ad me oportuisse te istuc facere.' itane, mi Attice? defensione eget meum factum, praesertim apud te qui id mirabiliter adprobasti? ego vero istum a)pologismo\n sunta/comai , sed ad eorum aliquem quibus invitis et dissuadentibus profectus sum. etsi quid iam opus est sxoli/w? ? 'si perseverassem, opus fuisset. 'at hoc ipsum non constanter.' nemo doctus umquam (multa autem de hoc genere scripta sunt) mutationem consili inconstantiam dixit esse. [4] deinceps igitur haec, 'nam si a Phaedro nostro esses, expedita excusatio esset; nunc quid respondemus?' ergo id erat meum factum quod Catoni probare non possim? flagiti scilicet plenum et dedecoris. Vtinam a primo ita tibi esset visum! tu mihi, sicut esse soles, fuisses Cato. [5] extremum illud vel molestissimum, 'nam Brutus noster silet,' hoc est, non audet hominem id aetatis monere. aliud nihil habeo quod ex iis a te verbis significari putem, et hercule ita est. nam xvi Kal. Sept. cum venissem Veliam, Brutus audivit; erat enim cum suis navibus apud Haletem fluvium citra Veliam milia passus III. pedibus ad me statim. di immortales, quam valde ille reditu vel potius reversione mea laetatus effudit illa omnia quae tacuerat! ut recordarer illud tuum. 'nam Brutus noster silet.' maxime autem dolebat me Kal. Sext in senatu non fuisse. Pisonem ferebat in caelum; se autem laetari quod effugissem duas maximas vituperationes, unam, quam itinere faciendo me intellegebam suscipere, desperationis ac reictionis rei publicae (flentes mecum vulgo querebantur quibus de meo celeri reditu non probabam), alteram, de qua Brutus et qui una erant (multi autem erant) laetabantur, quod eam vituperationem effugissem me existimari ad Olympia. hoc vero nihil turpius quovis rei publicae tempore sed hoc a)napolo/ghton . ego vero austro gratias miras qui me a tanta infamia averterit. [6] reversionis has speciosas causas habes iustas illas qui dem et magnas; sed nulla iustior quam quod tu idem aliis litteris, 'provide, si cui quid debetur, ut sit unde par pari respondeatur. mirifica enim dusxrhsti/a est propter metum armorum.' in freto medio hanc epistulam legi, ut quid possem providere in mentem mihi non veniret nisi ut praesens me ipse defenderem. sed haec hactenus; reliqua coram. [7] Antoni edictum legi a Bruto et horum contra scriptum praeclare; sed quid ista edicta valeant aut quo spectent plane non video. nec ego nunc, ut Brutus censebat, istuc ad rem publicam capessendam venio. quid enim fieri potest? num quis Pisoni est adsensus? num rediit ipse postridie? sed abesse hanc aetatem longe a sepulcro negant oportere. [8] sed obsecro te, quid est quod audivi de Bruto? Piliam peira/zesqai paralu/sei te scripsisse aiebat. valde sum commotus. etsi idem te scribere sperare melius. ita plane velim et ei dicas plurimam salutem et suavissimae Atticae. haec scripsi navigans cum <prope> Pompeianum accederem xiiii Kal.