Letter 12: On account of the little book that you considered to have been sent not so much to you as through you, I received a...

Sidonius to his lord and bishop Lupus, greetings. 1. On account of the little book, which you supposed to have been sent not so much to you as by way of you, I have received your letter, written not so much to me as against me. I respond to your reproaches in keeping with the fairness of the case, not with any equality of eloquence. And yet who am I now, or how great, that I should presume to plead, while you impute innocence to me? Therefore for this fault, however slight it is, at the very outset I straightway beg that it be pardoned, having confessed an error only of diffidence and not also of pride. 2. For although the severity of your censure, both in your letters and equally in your character, must be doubly dreaded by me, I confess nonetheless that in the unsealing of the volume itself and of the work, that affection of yours was more of a burden to me than you make out. Nor do I conjecture this beyond what is just, since this force is naturally implanted in the minds of mortals, that, if anything be done amiss, friends pardon it less the more they are friends. 3. I had written a book, as you declare, full and laden with a varied accumulation of cases, occasions, and persons: I seemed about to do a most shameless thing, if all of it had pleased me so much that I felt confident none of it would displease you; and here likewise, whatever the outcome of the judgment might be, I saw that on my side the reckoning of piety could in no way stand whole and entire, if the volume were not at least brought to you beforehand, even though it did not seem to be formally presented; under this qualification, namely, that, if perchance I had pleased, it should not be judged that arrogance had passed you over, and if otherwise, that no impertinence had sought you out. 4. Nor indeed did I believe that I should have much labor in deprecating the occasions for blushing that I had avoided. At the same time I knew that you knew this, that in publishing their works modesty rather than boldness becomes authors, and that with stern censors a reciter's diffidence wins the votes more slowly than his effrontery does. Otherwise, if there is anyone who, with the prerogative of self-confidence, broadcasts his work upon a theme previously unheard, he begins to owe back more to public expectation, although he has discharged much. Moreover, whatever you may have decided concerning the tenor of this reply, I have preferred to confess the deed plainly rather than to deny it craftily. 5. Someone else would have said: "I have preferred no one to you; I have given to no man any letter peculiar to himself: he whom you suspected to be preferred departed content with the form of a single letter, and that one indeed conveying nothing about the present business: you, who complain that you were passed over, have rather been worn out and stirred to nausea by three most loquacious pages, while you frequently linger over empty words of an insipid perusal. Add that even in this, which perhaps you have not noted, a consideration of your reverence and of your merits has been preserved, since, just as you take precedence over the chairs of the other bishops, your heading stands first in the book. His name sounds scarcely once only, and on the page assigned to it; whereas, besides the pages allotted to you, the pages of others too are frequently graced with yours. 6. Join to this the fact that, if anything there pleases even incidentally, you read it through by my own counsel, whereas he does so only someday by your kindness, he who, vainly oppressed by ill will toward my little gift, has not yet, as I suspect, come to the means of reading it, while you yourself have long since arrived at the abundance of transcribing it. I say this, as though he were not going to judge the parchments autographs, if at least he should receive even a copy of what you peruse beforehand; for in these things which you have handled no fault will be found, either a scarcity of punctuation marks or a frequency of barbarisms. Indeed, in the end the proprietorship too is plainly seen to have been transmitted to you, to whom the use of it has been handed over without the prescription of any fixed term, and who can use the aforesaid little book so long that not so much your bookcase as your memory may enclose it." 6. These things, and more than these, perhaps someone might say. But I, for my part, pass over all of it and prefer to pray for pardon rather than to plead away a charge, if this is believed to be one. The negligence of the present letter too I now do not excuse, first because, even if I should wish it, I am little able to write more elegantly, and then because, the work of the little book being completed, my mind, at last about to take its rest, now declines to polish up the very things which it pretends to make public. 8. And yet, since I yield to you sufficiently and indeed deservedly in all things (for what indeed is comparable?), seeing that in another kind of virtues you have now for ten lustra [fifty years], as often as compared, been even preferred not only to priests of your own age but also to the ancients, I wish you to know that, however much you shake the stars with your complaints and implore the ashes and cinders of our forefathers as a testimony of a wounded affection, I will not draw back my foot from your contest, if we must contend over mutual love, because, as in other matters, so most especially it is utterly shameful to be outdone in affection. This sure profession, whether you will or no, is repaid to you, not beyond what is fair, by those reproaches of yours which surely surpass all the honeys of flatteries. 9. Behold, you have a letter almost as chatty as you required; although all of mine, if any anywhere exist at all, are most loquacious. For whom do you not yourself drive into the boldness of holding forth? You who (for I say nothing of myself) so draw forth the talents of all men of letters, although their eyes shrink from it, as the sun's ray is wont to draw up by thirsty atoms the water hidden in the bowels of the earth? By whose [light's] sting not only the fine sand or the loose earth is penetrated, but, if beneath the weight of a rocky mountain the vein of buried springs lies concealed, the more forceful nature of celestial secrets opens up the mystery of the liquid element. Thus if, most holy man, you have perceived any of the studious to be either retiring, or bashful, or lurking in some obscure recess of unknown reputation, the brilliance of your eloquence, by its artful conversation, both summons them forth and makes them public. 10. But to what end, beyond what is customary? Let us return to the matter, over which, since I obey concerning its overflowing prattle, I pray that, appeased, you may impart to me, confessing my errors, the indulgence of merciful pardon, although, such is your holy gladness and such your fellowship, you would rejoice more abundantly if a defense of my fault rather than a making of amends were brought to you in writing. Deign to be mindful of me, my lord bishop.

EPISTULA XI Sidonius domino papae Lupo salutem. 1. Propter libellum, quem non ad vos magis quam per vos missum putastis, epistulam vestram non ad me magis quam in me scriptam recepi. ad exprobrata respondeo pro aequitate causae, non pro aequalitate facundiae. quamquam quis nunc ego aut quantus qui agere praesumam vobis imputantibus innocentem? quocirca delicto huic, quantulumcumque est, inter principia confestim supplico ignosci, diffidentiae tantum, non et superbiae fassus errorem. 2. nam cum mihi rigor censurae tuae in litteris aeque ut <in> moribus sit ambifariam contremescendus, fateor tamen in voluminis ipsius operisque reseratu illam mihi fuisse plus oneri quam praetenditis caritatem. nec citra iustum ista conicio, quandoquidem mortalium mentibus vis haec naturalitus inest, ut, si quid perperam fiat, minus indulgeant plus amici. 3. scripseram librum, sicut pronuntiatis, plenum onustumque vario causarum temporum personarumque congestu: facturus rem videbar impudentissimam, si tantum mihi cuncta placuissent, ut nulla tibi displicitura confiderem; huc item, quisquis iudicii eventus foret, vidi partibus meis nequaquam pietatis ex solido constare rationem, si non saltim vobis esset anterius allatum volumen, etsi non videretur oblatum; sub hoc scilicet temperamento, ut, si forte placuissem, non vos arrogantia praeterisse, si secus, non vos improbitas expetisse iudicaretur. 4. nec sane multo labore me credidi deprecaturum vitatas causas erubescendi. pariter illud nosse vos noveram, quod auctores in operibus edendis pudor potius quam constantia decet quodque tetricis puncta censoribus tardius procacitas recitatoris quam trepidatio excudit. alioquin, si quis est ille qui cum fiduciae praerogativa thematis ante inauditi operam pervulgat, incipit expectationi publicae, quamvis solverit multa, plura redhibere. praeterea quidquid super huiusce rescripti tenore censueris, malui factum confiteri simpliciter quam trebaciter diffiteri. 5. dixisset alius: "neminem tibi praetuli, nullas ad ullum peculiares litteras dedi: quem praelatum suspicabare, unius epistulae forma contentus abscessit, atque ea quidem nihil super praesenti negotio deferente: tu, qui te quereris omissum, tribus loquacissimis paginis fatigatus potius in nausiam concitaris, dum frequenter insulsae lectionis verbis inanibus immoraris. adde, quia etiam in hoc, quod forsitan non notasti, reverentiae tuae meritorumque ratio servata est, quod sicut tu antistitum ceterorum cathedris, prior est tuus in libro titulus. illius nomen vix semel tantum et sibi adscripta pagina sonat; tuo praeter tibi deputatas frequenter illustrantur alienae. 6. illud his iunge, quod, si quid ibi vel causaliter placet, tu per consilium meum lectitas, ille quandoque per beneficium tuum, qui munusculi mei incassum pressus invidia necdum ad facultatem legendi, ut suspicor, venit, cum iamdiu ipse perveneris ad copiam transferendi. aio, tamquam non sit autholographas membranas arbitraturus, si tamen, quod ante percurras, vel exemplar acceperit; neque enim in his, quae tractaveris, ulla culpabitur aut distinctionum raritas aut frequentia barbarismorum. nempe ad extremum palam videtur etiam tibi transmissa proprietas, cui usus absque temporis fixi praescriptione transmissus est quique supradicto tamdiu potes uti libello, ut eum non amplius zothecula tua quam memoria concludat." 7. haec et his plura fors aliquis. ego vero cuncta praetereo et malo precari veniam quam reatum, si hoc esse creditur, deprecari. praesentum quoque neglegentiam litterarum nunc nec excuso, primum quod, etsi cupiam, parum cultius scribere queo, dein quod libellari opere confecto animus tandem feriaturus iam quae propalare dissimulat excolere detrectat. 8. at tamen, cum satis tibi et quidem merito (quidnam enim simile?) in omnibus cedam, quippe qui in alio genere virtutum iam per quinquennia decem non aequaevis sacerdotibus tantum verum et antiquis, quotiens collatus, antelatus quoque sis, noveris volo, quamvis astra questibus quatias atque maiorum cineres favillasque in testimonium laesae caritatis implores, pedem me conflictui tuo, si mutuo super amore certandum est, non retracturum, quia cum in ceteris rebus tum foedissimum perquam est in dilectione superari. quae velis nolis certa professio conviciis tuis illis cuncta sane blandimentorum mella vincentibus non praeter aequum reponderatur. 9. ecce habes litteras tam garrulas ferme quam requirebas; quamquam sunt omnes, si quae uspiam tamen sunt, loquacissimae. namque in audentiam sermocinandi quem non ipse compellas? qui omnium (de me enim taceo) litteratorum, licet oculi affectent, sic ingenia producis, ut solet aquam terrae visceribus absconditam per atomos bibulas radius extrahere solaris? cuius [lucis] aculeo non sola penetratur aut harena subtilis aut humus fossilis, sed si saxei montis oppressu fontium conditorum vena celetur, aperit arcanum liquentis elementi secretorum caelestium natura violentior. ita si quos, vir sacrosancte, studiosorum senseris aut quietos aut verecundos aut in obscuro iacentis famae recessu delitescentes, hos eloquii tui claritas artifice confabulatu, dum compellat, et publicat. 10. sed quorsum + quam moris est? redeamus ad causam, super cuius abundante blateratu, quia pareo, precor, ut errata confessum veniae clementis indultu placatus impertias, licet, quae laetitia tua sancta quaeque communio, copiosius hilarere, si meae culpae defensio potius tibi scripta feratur quam satisfactio. memor nostri esse dignare, domine papa.