Letter 43

[1] You ask how this came to my attention, who told me that you were turning over this idea in your mind, the one you had disclosed to no one. It was that creature who knows the most of all: rumor. "What of it?" you say. "Am I so important that I can set rumor in motion?" There is no call for you to take your measure by looking back at this place here; look instead at that place where you are staying. [2] Whatever stands out among its neighbors is large there, in the spot where it stands out; for size has no fixed standard. Comparison either raises it up or presses it down. A ship that is large on a river is a tiny thing on the sea; a rudder that is large for one ship is small for another. [3] You, now, in your province, are a great man, however much you may hold yourself in contempt. What you do, how you dine, how you sleep, all of this is asked about and found out. You must therefore live all the more carefully. But judge yourself happy only when you can live in full view, when your walls shelter you but do not hide you, those walls which we generally suppose we have set around ourselves not so that we may live more safely, but so that we may sin more secretly. [4] Let me tell you something from which you may gauge our character: you will scarcely find anyone who could live with his door standing open. It is our conscience, not our pride, that has stationed doorkeepers at our gates; we live in such a way that to be caught off guard is to be caught in the act. But what good does it do to hide oneself away and to shun the eyes and ears of other people? [5] A good conscience invites a crowd in; a bad one is anxious and uneasy even in solitude. If the things you do are honorable, let everyone know them; if they are shameful, what does it matter that no one knows them, since you yourself know them? How wretched you are, if you hold this witness in contempt! Farewell.

Do you ask how the news reached me, and who informed me, that you were entertaining this idea, of which you had said nothing to a single soul? It was that most knowing of persons,—gossip. “What,” you say, “am I such a great personage that I can stir up gossip?” Now there is no reason why you should measure yourself according to this part of the world; have regard only to the place where you are dwelling. Any point which rises above adjacent points is great, at the spot where it rises. For greatness is not absolute; comparison increases it or lessens it. A ship which looms large in the river seems tiny when on the ocean. A rudder which is large for one vessel, is small for another. So you in your province are really of importance, though you scorn yourself. Men are asking what you do, how you dine, and how you sleep, and they find out, too; hence there is all the more reason for your living circumspectly. Do not, however, deem yourself truly happy until you find that you can live before men’s eyes, until your walls protect but do not hide you; although we are apt to believe that these walls surround us, not to enable us to live more safely, but that we may sin more secretly. I shall mention a fact by which you may weigh the worth of a man’s character: you will scarcely find anyone who can live with his door wide open. It is our conscience, not our pride, that has put doorkeepers at our doors; we live in such a fashion that being suddenly disclosed to view is equivalent to being caught in the act. What profits it, however, to hide ourselves away, and to avoid the eyes and ears of men? A good conscience welcomes the crowd, but a bad conscience, even in solitude, is disturbed and troubled. If your deeds are honourable, let everybody know them; if base, what matters it that no one knows them, as long as you yourself know them? How wretched you are if you despise such a witness! Farewell.

[1] Quomodo hoc ad me pervenerit quaeris, quis mihi id te cogitare narraverit quod tu nulli narraveras? Is qui scit plurimum, rumor. 'Quid ergo?' inquis 'tantus sum ut possim excitare rumorem?' Non est quod te ad hunc locum respiciens metiaris: ad istum respice in quo moraris. [2] Quidquid inter vicina eminet magnum est illic ubi eminet; nam magnitudo non habet modum certum: comparatio illam aut tollit aut deprimit. Navis quae in flumine magna est in mari parvula est; gubernaculum quod alteri navi magnum alteri exiguum est. [3] Tu nunc in provincia, licet contemnas ipse te, magnus es. Quid agas, quemadmodum cenes, quemadmodum dormias, quaeritur, scitur: eo tibi diligentius vivendum est. Tunc autem felicem esse te iudica cum poteris in publico vivere, cum te parietes tui tegent, non abscondent, quos plerumque circumdatos nobis iudicamus non ut tutius vivamus, sed ut peccemus occultius. [4] Rem dicam ex qua mores aestimes nostros: vix quemquam invenies qui possit aperto ostio vivere. Ianitores conscientia nostra, non superbia opposuit: sic vivimus ut deprendi sit subito aspici. Quid autem prodest recondere se et oculos hominum auresque vitare? [5] Bona conscientia turbam advocat, mala etiam in solitudine anxia atque sollicita est. Si honesta sunt quae facis, omnes sciant; si turpia, quid refert neminem scire cum tu scias? O te miserum si contemnis hunc testem! Vale.