Letter 733: I was about to blame you for your silence toward me, but then I realized the same charges would condemn me too.

I was going to find fault with your silence toward me; but then I considered that I would be convicting myself on the very same charges. For the matter of the silence is, I think, common to us both; and it was surely prolonged by the fact of not writing at once, and then of being ashamed afterwards because one had not sent word earlier. We experience something of this same kind also in the case of the sick: if we do not visit them at the beginning, we keep adding other days, then still others. Then the patient gets up and recovers before the proper thing has been done on our part. And so now indeed, as they say, it is evil heaped on evil, the not-having-written being added to the not-writing. But Patroinus has done well in putting a stop to the long stretch of this absurdity by laying upon us the necessity of a letter. As for this Patroinus, that on account of both his birth and his general rank he stands among the foremost of those who enjoy the benefits of your government, you yourself could tell others; but to me at least he is a comrade from boyhood, as no other is, and a fellow-student better than brothers, one who rejoices whenever I bring forth something noble, who praises me when I am eager, and somewhere too rouses me when I grow numb. I know him also as one who has recounted to me encomia of self-control and has stretched out accusations against those who are slaves to pleasures. And indeed, though I have traveled over much land, I never once cast the man out of my memory; and although I had my homeland and my kinsfolk, I considered that I did not yet possess all the things I longed for, so long as I did not see Patroinus. And so I kept summoning him by letters, from the very time I arrived. He too for his part desired to come, but, with obstacles at different times hindering him, in the earlier period he did not arrive; but, employing a more forceful longing, he ran at last, though slowly, the course that had long been owed to me. But this has brought upon him certain disturbances, on the ground that he has neglected the common affairs of his homeland and given himself over to indulgence. So, coming to me full of fear, he said that you were angry, and begged me to help. And I promised, knowing both your nature and your friendship toward me; for you would be doing a favor to me, and you would grant pardon more readily than you would exact justice. By which very thing you were also bound, around the Euphrates, by your subjects, and you will sooner see your sons coming into old age than you will be released from office. With such drugs have you bewitched the cities, and not the inhabitants alone, but also the generals and the commanders of companies and the soldiers and those who in whatever guise make their way to you. I then hope for these things and have announced these things, that you will be gentle; but do you become my witness, and to the ceasing of your anger add this also, that you deem the man worthy of greater forethought than before.

Ἀταρβίῳ. (362) Ἔμελλον αἰτιάσεσθαί σου τὴν πρὸς ἐμὲ σιωπήν ἔπειτ᾿ ἐνεθυμήθην ὅτι ταῖς αὐταῖς αἰτίαις καὶ ἐμαυτὸν αἱρήσω. κοινὸν γὰρ ἀμφοῖν οἶμαι τὸ τῆς σιγῆς· ἣν ἐποίησι δήπου μακρὰν τὸ μὴ γράψαι μὲν εὐθύς, αἰσχυνθῆναι δὲ ὕστερον τῷ μὴ πρὶν ἐπεσταλκέναι. πάσχομεν δέ τι τοιοῦτον καἰ ἐπὶ τῶν ἀρρωστούντων· εἰ μὴ ἀρχὰς εἰσέλθοιμεν αὐτούς, ἑτέρας προστίθεμεν ἡμέρας, εἶτ᾿ ἄλλας. εἶτ᾿ ἀναστὰς ὁ κάμνων ἔφθη πρὶν παρ’ ἡμῶν τὸ εἰκὸς γενέσθαι. καὶ νῦν δὴ κακῷ τὸ κακόν φασι, τῷ μὴ γράφειν τὸ μὴ γεγραφέναι. ἀλλ’ εὖ ποιῶν Πατρώινος μῆκος ἀτοπίας ἔστησεν ἀνάγκην περιθεὶς γραμμάτων. ὁ δὲ Πατρώινος οὗτος ὅτι μὲν καὶ γένους ἕνεκα καὶ τῆς ἄλλης τάξεως ἐν πρώτοις ἐστὶ τῶν τῆς σῆς ἀρχῆς ἀπολαυόντων, αὐτὸς ἂν πρὸς ἄλλους εἴποις· ἀλλ’ ἐμός γε ἑταῖρος ἐκ παιδός, ὡς οὐχ ἕτερος, καὶ συμφοιτητὴς ἀδελφῶν ἀμείνων, χαίρων τε, ὁπότε τι τέκοιμι γενναῖον, καὶ πρόθυμον ὄντα ἐπαινῶν καί που καὶ ναρκῶντα ἐπεγείρων. οἶδα δὲ αὐτὸν καὶ σωφροσύνης ἐγκώμια πρός με διεξελθόντα καὶ περὶ τῶν ἡδοναῖς δουλευόντων κατηγορίας ἀποτείναντα. καὶ πολλὴν δὴ γῆν ἐπελθὼν ἐγὼ τὸν ἄνδρα τῆς μνήμης οὐδεπώποτε ἐξέβαλον, ἔχων δὲ τὴν πατρίδα καὶ τοὺς οἰκείους οὔπω πάντα ἔχειν ἡγούμην τὰ ποθούμενα Πατρώινον οὐχ ὁρῶν. καὶ ἐκάλουν δὴ δι’ ἐπιστολῶν, ἐξ οὗπερ ἦλθον. ὁ δὲ καὶ αὐτὸς ἐπεθύμει μὲν ἐλθεῖν, ἐμποδισμάτων δὲ ἄλλοτε ἄλλων εἰργόν- των τὸν μὲν ἔμπροσθεν χρόνον οὐχ ἧκε, βιαιοτέρῳ δὲ χρησά- μενος τῷ ἔρωτι δρόμον ἔδραμε βραδέως ὀφειλόμενόν μοι πάλαι. τοῦτο δὲ αὐτῶ θορύβους τινὰς ἐνήνοχεν ὡς ἂν ἠμεληκότι μὲν τῶν τῆς πατρίδος κοινῶν, δόντι οἱ αὐτόν τρυφῇ προσελ- θὼν δή μοι περίφοβος ἔλεγέ τε ὡς ὀργίζοιο, καὶ ἐδεῖτο βοηθεῖν. ἐγὼ δὲ ὑπεσχόμην τήν τι σὴν φύσιν εἰδὼς καἰ τὴν πρὸς ἐμαυτὸν φιλία ἐμοί τε γὰρ ἂν χαρίζοιο κοὶ συγ- γνώμην ἆν δοίης ῥᾷον ἢ λάβοις δίκηι. ὑφ’ οὐ δὴ καὶ περὶ τὸν Εὐφράτην ὑπὸ τῶν ἀρχομένων ἐδέθης καὶ πρότερον εἰς γῆρας ὄψει τοὺς υἰεῖς ἥκοντας ἢ τῆς ἀρχῆς ἀπεαλλάξῃ. τοιούτοις φαρμάκοις ἐγοήτευσας τὰς πόλεις καὶ οὐ τοὺς οἰκή- τοράς γε μόνον, ἀλλὰ καὶ στρατηγοὺς καὶ ταξιάρχους καἰ στρατιώτας καὶ τοὺς ἐν ὅτῳ δήποτε σχήματι παρ’ ὑμᾶς πο ρευομἐνους. ἐγὼ μὲν οὖν ταῦτα ἐλπίζω καὶ ταῦτα ἐπηγγει- λάμην, ὡς πρᾷος ἴσῃ, σὺ δέ μοι μάρτυς γενοῦ καὶ τῷ λῆξαι τῆς ὀργῆς πρόσθες τὸ καὶ προνοίας τὸν ἔ μείζονος ἢ πρότερον ἀξιοῦν.