Letter 1003: Faustus, from Ennodius.

Ennodius to Faustus. The cause of my longing has been pleaded thanks to my complaints: my shamelessness has obtained what your courtesy was refusing. I have drawn out the diligence of your holy heart, which a skillful silence kept covered: I have put an end to the taciturnity that had been made ready to feed the fire of my desire; and by prolonging worthless pages I have received the prize of one who prevails. So the earth, when its turf is broken up, repays interest to the one who tills it, and the clod brings forth a noble offspring from single seeds; so to the voice of a single man the hidden places of the mountains answer back, and while a feeble cry is overcome, the elements display their own strength. Having obeyed the evangelical oracles by such a deed, and having obtained a morsel from the very truth of the precept, whose teaching declares that God often rises and grants to the one who knocks-if not for his merit, then for his importunity-let the ill-cautious inquiry of unbelievers henceforth give way: as a witness suited to the soundness of this opinion by present perils, I add my own testimony. By frequent prayer I have earned what I longed for: what was being refused to scrutiny has been granted to the persistence of my entreaties. I owe you my friendship, and I owe my own complaints, which I shall love all the more since you grant their effect to my wishes. Though their origin may come from a just grief, I shall often, after you have granted what I sought, begin afresh even unharmed. Having embraced the soothing plea of your epistolary address, I render and hold thanks, because you were unwilling that I should long be a partner in sad things. You did this perhaps out of the wish and zeal of one who looks out for me; but I ascribe it to my own sins, that, while you spared me your address, I was tossed about by greater anguish. To me alone do things provided turn into adversity, since I always reckon those griefs that are kept silent to be the heavier, because I believe that words are often shared concerning middling ailments, whereas the nearness of a death commands silences swiftly to be broken. Thanks be to God, who by his clemency turns well those things that are reckoned harsh, and causes those things which by our own deserving we had gathered as coming upon us to be transferred away by his own compassion. Yet I could have wished that your esteem had kept such an affection toward my littleness, that the one whom you have often taken as a companion to your joys you would also have chosen to share your adversities with. Or do you think that I shall count such a kindness as welcome, if I am shut out from the heat of your heart as though I were a faithless friend? There is not, as I see, any reckoning of my counsel duly weighed in your esteem. I judge that grace perishes for me unless you nourish it by communication with you in all matters. Cease, I beg, in this respect to consult my interest, when I crave your words so dearly-for if the longed-for utterances be denied to me, I shall waste away, like earth into which nothing flows down from heaven, nor pours its veins with the juice of drinking moisture, whereby it might furnish nourishment to the stalks born of it and bring the heavy ears to the sickle. As a fish, drawn out of the water and deprived of its life-giving garments, is extinguished, so I, when the streams of your address are withdrawn, am destroyed. Let others seek what delights; I demand things that pertain to the soul: your words bring me not so much pleasures as health. I confess a matter colored with no false hues, painted with no falsehoods of mists, because I am no craftsman of pretense: I have judged that something has been plucked from my life while you keep silent. You falsely assert yourselves faithful, if the misfortunes that all must lament are reported to my ears through you only in general terms, as though it were permitted to any Christian not to know an evil to which Rome succumbs. The barbarian nations, set apart from our boundary by almost the whole world, I conjecture groan over these things with continual laments and lend their tears to our solace. The greatness of this matter shrinks from offering you as its informant, so that for my ruin the diabolical vows of deceitful messengers may lie with their false assurance, so that there be no one to whose truth I may return after the fables, nor anyone to sustain my mind by a demonstration of the truth. Take care that you do not so act, my lord: between you and me the case is otherwise: the law of the forum is one thing, that of the dining-couch another. Let your household servants hear you recounting what you have learned in public converse: feed the spirits of your subordinates and the minds you suppose faithful with the food of your reports, lest the hungry hearts of friends, unfed by such dishes, die.

III. FAVSTO ENNODIVS. Acta est causa desiderii mei beneficio querelarum: meruit inpudentia quod negabat urbanitas. diligentiam sancti pectoris, 1-debram iB 2 in \\B, om. LPTV gimnasiis T, gemnawM aB 3 nuquam LV 6-cometee B, cometem P, aomitom b Bydos : T b 7 ego BLPTV, ergo b iaprobus. B, improbqs LTV 8 fidatia LT nentus B 10 pacud ferratis L 12 amantes B, amantis LPTVb prouocentem B proccacitatem b dampna LP 18 medii T sinebus B, senibus V corr m 1 14 circa] cura T conticifiee B praeualis lB 15 multttur B, multemus LPTV, mulcemur & loquatitate-L J6 ierte- Bnari b is imparem LTV ut solent ^19 dominum BTb finola B quaemrellas B 20 studes B o in ras . III. 22 Ennodius Feusto b i quaewllarum B 24 impudentia LTV quam artifex silentium tegebat, elicui: taciturnitatem, quae ad fomenta ardoris mei parata fuerat, terminaui: prorogando uiles paginas pretium uincentis accepi. sic usuram cultori uexatis reddit uber terra cespitibus et feturam nobilem de singularibus parturit gleba germinibus: sic ad uocem unius hominis montium secreta respondent et dum angustus clamor uincitur, ualitudinem suam elementa manifestant. euangelicis tali facto obeeeutus oraculis frustum de praecepti sam ueritate sortitus, cuius declarat instructio, quod pulsanti saepe surgat et tribuat deus; si non propter meritum, uel propter inportunitatem. facessat posthac infidelium male cauta discussio: integritati sententiae periclis praesentibus idoneus mihi testis adstipulor. frequenti oratione optata promerui: concessum est precum adsiduitati quod negabatur examini. debeo uobis amicitiam, querimoniae meae, quas, dum uotis effectum tribuitis, plus amabo. fuerit licet origo uestra a iusto dolore ueniens, frequenter a uobis, postquam praestitistis, etiam inlaesus incipiam. delenificam allegationem amplexus epistularis alloquii ago atque habeo gratias, quod me diu tristium noluistis esse participem. fecistis hoc forsitan uoto et studio consulentis: sed adscribo peccatis meis, quod maioribus, dum temperatis alloquio, sum iactatus angoribus. mihi uni in aduersum prouisa contingunt, dum grauiora semper in maerore aestimo quae tacentur, quia credo quod de mediocribus saepe communicentur uerba languoribus, cum proximitas funeris imperet silentia cito 2 fuerant L 3 precium LT, praetium B ogoram B s rtJI. 4 ueiatiB B uber om. b et simu caeepitibus B, cospistibus L\' 7 elimenta B, aelem«ita LV, et eiementa P b 9 sortius L\' 10 deui et tribuat LPTVb importuBitatem LTV 11 dacuaio hl 12 sententise sine Pb periculia PTb idoneis B 13 aetipulbr LTV 14 assiduitati 1TV 16 quaerimoniae B quas B, quam LPTYb tribuites B 16 orago L\' 17 illenu T 18 delenifica cft T epistolarii T w rGl . m. U eloqull LPTVb 20 fecissetis 11 21 ascnbo LTV 22 iSfhi T et tie saepissima 23 merorv BLTV 24 cemuneoMtw T 25 langoribus BL\'r rumpenda. deo gratias, qui ea quae dura aestimantur clementia bene uertit et quae ex merito nostro uentura collegimus ex sua facit miseratione transferri. uoluissem tamen talem circa paruitatem meam dignatio uestra tenuisset affectum, ut quem comitem saepe gaudiis adhibuistis cum eo elegissetis etiam aduersa partiri. an putatis tale beneficium in acceptum me esse relaturum, si ab aestibus pectoris uestri tamquam male fidelis excludar? non est, ut uideo, apud uos mei ratio dispensata consilii. ego mihi perire gratiam puto, nisi eam rerum omnium uobiscum communicatione nutriatis. desinite, quaeso, in hac mihi parte consulere uestra inpendio uerba cupienti cui si uotiui negentur affatus, fatiscam, ut terra cui caelo nihil liquitur nec uenas suas suco bibuli humoris infundit, unde innatis alimenta culmis exhibeat et ad falcem grauidas aristas adducat. ut piscis aqua abstractus uitalibus indumentis priuatus extinguitur, sic ego subductis alloquii uestri fluentis interimor. quaerant alii quod delectet, ego res ad animam pertinentes expostulo: mihi non tam delicias uerba uestra pariunt quam salutem. rem fateor nullis coloratam fucis, nullis nebularum depictam mendaciis, quia non sum simulandi artifex: decerptum aliquid uitae meae censui, dum tacetis. male uos fideles adseritis, si ad aures meas generaliter deflenda per uos deferantur incommoda, quasi nescire alicui Christiano liceat malum, cui Roma subcumbit. barbaras nationes et a nostro limite toto pene orbe discretas, continuis haec conicio lamentis ingemescere et ad solacium nostrum lacrimas commodare. huius rei magnitudo uestra adhibere se indicem fugit, ut in 1 existimUltur b 2 colligimus T 3 quod talem Pb 7 eetibus B peccoris T tanquam TV 9 gratiam perire T 10 nutriaris LlT designite Pb 11 impendio LTV 12 qui b fatiscam B, fatiscat LPTVb 13 nil T liquitur B, linquitur LPVb, linqui*t T saooo Tb umoris L 15 aristat Lx ut uidetwr 16 udstria B fluentis B 8. I. 18 dilicias B 20 non] si//// T 21 decertum L 22 asseritis T, adseretia B, aagerimus Pb 24 subcumbet B, \'succumbit LPTV 26 discretas B, diuisas LPTVb conitio T 26 ingemiscere TPb solacium BPT, solatium LV 27 ad*ibere L h eras. iudicem Pb perniciem meam fallacium nuntiorum diabolica cum securitate uota mentiantur, ut non sit ad cuius ueritatem post fabulas redeam nec qui animum meum ueri demonstratione sustentet. caue faxis, mi domine: uobiscum mihi alia res est: aliud fori ius, aliud triclinii. audiat te quae in conuersatione publica didiceris familia domestica retexentem: subiectorum animos et fideles ut putatis mentes relationum uestrarum cibis alite, ne ieiuna amicorum corda talibus ferculis inpasta moriantur.