Letter 9.21

Really? You think you are "going mad" because you are imitating, as you write, the "thunderbolts" of my words? You would be mad if you could not match them; but since you even surpass them, you ought to mock me before mocking yourself. So you do not need that line from Trabea; rather use my own target. But tell me, what do I seem like to you in my letters? Do I not conduct myself with you in ordinary speech? For I do not always write in the same manner; what resemblance does a letter bear to a courtroom speech or a public address? Even court speeches we do not treat all in one style: private cases, especially minor ones, we handle more simply; cases involving life or reputation, naturally, with more ornament. But letters we are accustomed to weave from everyday words. But still, my dear Paetus, how did it come into your head to deny that any Papirius was ever anything but a plebeian? For there were Papirii among the lesser patrician clans, the chief of whom was Lucius Papirius Mugillanus, who was censor with Lucius Sempronius Atratinus, having previously been consul with the same man, in the year 312 from the founding of Rome; but at that time you were called Papisii. After him, thirteen more sat in the curule chair before Lucius Papirius Crassus, who was the first to stop being called Papisius. He was made dictator with Lucius Papirius Cursor as master of horse in the year 415, and four years later was consul with Kaeso Duilius. After him came Cursor, a very distinguished man; then Lucius Maso, who had held the aedileship; then many more Masones. Of all of these patricians, I would have you keep their ancestral portraits. Then come the Carbones and the Turdi: these were plebeians, whom I advise you to despise. For aside from this Gaius Carbo whom Damasippus killed, not one of the Carbones was a patriotic citizen. We knew Gnaeus Carbo and his brother, the buffoon -- what rogues! About this friend of mine, the son of Rubria, I say nothing. There were three brothers: Gaius, Gnaeus, and Marcus. Marcus was convicted on the prosecution of Publius Flaccus -- a major thief from Sicily. Gaius is said to have taken cantharides when prosecuted by Lucius Crassus; he was both a seditious tribune of the plebs and was believed to have offered violence to Publius Africanus. As for this one, who was executed by our Pompey at Lilybaeum, no one in my judgment was more wicked. And his father, when prosecuted by Marcus Antonius, is believed to have been acquitted with cobbler's ink. Therefore I advise you to return to your patrician ancestors; you see how troublesome the plebeians were.

CDXCV (Fam. IX, 21) TO PAPIRIUS PAETUS (AT NAPLES) ROME (ABOUT OCTOBER) You don't say so! You think yourself a madman for imitating the thunder of my eloquence, as you call it? You certainly would have been beside yourself if you had failed to do so: but since you even beat me at it, you ought to jeer at me rather than at yourself. So you had no need of that quotation from Trabea, rather the fiasco was mine. But, after all, what do you think of my style in letters? Don't I talk with you in the vulgar tongue? Why, of course one doesn't write always in the same style. For what analogy has a letter with a speech in court or at a public meeting? Nay, even as to speeches in court, it is not my practice to handle all in the same style. Private causes and such as are of slight importance we plead in simpler language; those that affect a man's civil existence or reputation, of course, in a more ornate style: but letters it is our custom to compose in the language of everyday life. Well, but letting that pass, how did it come into your head, my dear Paetus , to say that there never was a Papirius who was not a plebeian? For, in fact, there were patrician Papirii , of the lesser houses, of whom the first was L. Papirius Mugillanus , censor with L. Sempronius Atratinus — having already been his colleague in the consulship — in the 312th year of the city. But in those days they were called Papisii. After him thirteen sat in the curule chair before L. Papirius Crassus , who was the first to drop the form Papisius. This man was named dictator, with L. Papirius Cursor as Master of the Horse , in the 415th year of the city, and four years afterwards was consul with Kaeso Duilius . Cursor came next to him, a man who held a very large number of offices; then comes L. Masso, who rose to the aedileship; then a number of Massones. The busts of these I would have you keep — all patricians. Then follow the Carbones and Turdi. These latter were plebeians, whom I opine that you may disregard. For, except the Gaius Carbo who was assassinated by Damasippus , there has not been one of the Carbones who was a good and useful citizen. We knew Gnaeus Carbo and his brother the wit: were there ever greater scoundrels? About the one who is a friend of mine, the son of Rubrius , I say nothing. There have been those three brothers Carbo — Gaius, Gnaeus, Marcus. Of these, Marcus, a great thief, was condemned for malversation in Sicily on the accusation of Publius Flaccus : Gaius, when accused by Lucius Crassus , is said to have poisoned himself with cantharides; he behaved in a factious manner as tribune, and was also thought to have assassinated Publius Africanus . As to the other, who was put to death by my friend Pompey at Lilybaeum , there was never, in my opinion, a greater scoundrel. Even his father, on being accused by M. Antonius , is thought to have escaped condemnation by a dose of shoemaker's vitriol. Wherefore my opinion is that you should revert to the patrician Papirii : you see what a bad lot the plebeians were.

XXI. Scr. anno incerto (post a. 82). CICERO PAETO SAL. Ain tandem? "Insanire" tibi videris, quod "imitere" verborum meorum, ut scribis, "fulmina?" tum insanires, si consequi non posses; cum vero etiam vincas, me prius irrideas quam te oportet. Quare nihil tibi opus est illud a Trabea; sed potius *pÒteugma meum. Verumtamen quid tibi ego videor in epistulis? nonne plebeio sermone agere tecum? nec enim semper eodem modo; quid enim simile habet epistula aut iudicio aut concioni? quin ipsa iudicia non solemus omnia tractare uno modo: privatas causas, et eas tenues, agimus subtilius, capitis aut famae scilicet ornatius; epistulas vero quotidianis verbis texere solemus. Sed tamen, mi Paete, qui tibi venit in mentem negare Papirium quemquam umquam nisi plebeium fuisse? fuerunt enim patricii minorum gentium, quorum princeps L. Papirius Mugillanus, qui censor cum L. Sempronio Atratino fuit, cum ante consul cum eodem fuisset, annis post Romam conditam CCCXII; sed tum Papisii dicebamini. Post hunc XIII. sederunt in sella curuli ante L. Papirium Crassum, qui primus Papisius est vocari desitus: is dictator cum L. Papirio Cursore magistro equitum factus est annis post Romam conditam CCCCXV. et quadriennio post consul cum K. Duilio. Hunc secutus est Cursor, homo valde honoratus; deinde L. Maso aedilicius; inde multi Masones. Quorum quidem tu, omnium patriciorum, imagines habeas volo. Deinde Carbones et Turdi insequuntur: hi plebeii fuerunt, quos contemnas censeo; nam praeter hunc C. Carbonem, quem Damasippus occidit, civis e re publica Carbonum nemo fuit. Cognovimus Cn. Carbonem et eius fratrem scurram: quid iis improbius? de hoc amico meo, Rubriae filio, nihil dico. Tres illi fratres fuerunt, C., Cn., M. Carbones: Marcus P. Flacco accusante condemnatus est, fur magnus, ex Sicilia; Gaius accusante L. Crasso cantharidas sumpsisse dicitur: is et tribunus pl. seditiosus et P. Africano vim attulisse existimatus est; hoc vero, qui Lilybaei a Pompeio nostro est interfectus, improbior nemo meo iudicio fuit; iam pater eius accusatus a M. Antonio sutorio atramento absolutus putatur. Quare ad patres censeo revertare; plebeii quam fuerint importuni, vides.