Marcus Tullius Cicero→Titus Pomponius Atticus|c. 58 BC|Cicero|From Rome|To Rome/Athens|AI-assisted
I wrote earlier that I would be in Epirus. But once I saw our hope shrinking and then disappearing, I changed my plan and stayed at Thessalonica. I had meant to remain here until you wrote to me about what you mentioned in your last letter: that Pompey had told you my case might be brought before the Senate after the elections. Since the elections have now been held and you write nothing to me, I will take that as if you had written that nothing has come of it. Nor will I be upset that the hope which sustained me proved so short-lived. As for the movement you said you could see, which seemed likely to help me, newcomers report that it will not happen. The only hope left is in the tribunes-elect. If I wait for that, you should not think I have failed either my own cause or the wishes of my friends.
You often fault me for bearing this disaster so heavily. You ought to forgive me when you see me so crushed that you have never seen or heard of anyone like me. You write that you hear grief has even unsettled my mind. My mind is perfectly sound. If only that had been the thing in danger. The people I believed cared most for my safety have proved my bitterest and cruelest enemies; as soon as they saw me bend a little under fear, they shoved me down and used all their wickedness and treachery to destroy me. Since I now have to go to Cyzicus, where letters will reach me less often, please write all the more carefully about everything you think I need to know. Love my brother Quintus. If, wretched as I am, I can leave him safe, I will not think I have been wholly destroyed.
Written August 5.
I changed my mind about the proposed journey to Epirus when I saw my hope growing less and less and finally vanishing, and have not moved from Thessalonica, where I proposed to stay till you should send me some news of what you mentioned on Pompey’s authority in your last letter, that my case might come before the House after the elections. And so, now the elections are over and I get no news from you, I shall take that as equivalent to your writing and saying that nothing has come of it, nor shall I regret that the hope which buoyed me up has not lasted long. As for the movement that appeared to be in my favour, which you said you foresaw, new arrivals here assure me that it won’t come off. The only hope left is in the tribunes elect: and if I wait till that is settled, you will have no right to regard me as a traitor to my own cause and to my friends’ wishes.
Instead of blaming me so often for taking my troubles so seriously, you ought to pardon me, as you see that my afflictions surpass all that you have ever seen or heard of. You say you have heard that my mind is becoming unhinged with grief: my mind is sound enough. Would that it had been as sound in the hour of danger, when I found those my cruelest enemies who I thought had my salvation most at heart. As soon as they saw I had lost my balance a little through fear, they used all their malice and treachery to thrust me to my doom. Now that I have to go to Cyzicus, where your letters will reach me less frequently, please be all the more careful to give me a thorough account of everything you think I ought to know. Be a good friend to my brother Quintus, for, if I leave him unharmed by my fall, I shall not regard myself as utterly overwhelmed.
August 5.
quod ad te scripseram me in Epiro futurum, postea quam extenuari spem nostram et evanescere vidi, mutavi consilium nec me Thessalonica commovi, ubi esse statueram quoad aliquid ad me de eo scriberes, quod proximis litteris scripseras fore uti secundum comitia aliquid de nobis in senatu ageretur; id tibi Pompeium dixisse. qua de re quoniam comitia habita sunt tuque nihil ad me scribis, proinde habebo ac si scripsisses nihil esse neque (me) temporis non longinqui spe ductum esse moleste feram. quem autem motum te videre scripseras qui nobis utilis fore videretur, eum nuntiant qui veniunt nullum fore. in tribunis pl. designatis reliqua spes est. quam si exspectaro, non erit quod putes me causae meae, voluntati meorum defuisse. [2] quod me saepe accusas cur hunc meum casum tam graviter feram, debes ignoscere, cum ita me adflictum videas ut neminem umquam nec videris nec audieris. nam quod scribis te audire me etiam mentis errore ex dolore adfici, mihi vero mens integra est. atque utinam tam in periculo fuisset! cum ego iis quibus meam salutem carissimam esse arbitrabar inimicissimis crudelissimisque usus sum; qui, ut me paulum inclinari timore viderunt, sic impulerunt ut omni suo scelere et perfidia abuterentur ad exitium meum. nunc quoniam est Cyzicum nobis eundum, quo rarius ad me litterae perferentur, hoc velim diligentius omnia quae putaris me scire opus esse perscribas. Quintum fratrem meum fac diligas; quem ego miser si incolumem relinquo, non me totum perisse arbitrabor. data Nonis Sextilibus.
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I wrote earlier that I would be in Epirus. But once I saw our hope shrinking and then disappearing, I changed my plan and stayed at Thessalonica. I had meant to remain here until you wrote to me about what you mentioned in your last letter: that Pompey had told you my case might be brought before the Senate after the elections. Since the elections have now been held and you write nothing to me, I will take that as if you had written that nothing has come of it. Nor will I be upset that the hope which sustained me proved so short-lived. As for the movement you said you could see, which seemed likely to help me, newcomers report that it will not happen. The only hope left is in the tribunes-elect. If I wait for that, you should not think I have failed either my own cause or the wishes of my friends.
You often fault me for bearing this disaster so heavily. You ought to forgive me when you see me so crushed that you have never seen or heard of anyone like me. You write that you hear grief has even unsettled my mind. My mind is perfectly sound. If only that had been the thing in danger. The people I believed cared most for my safety have proved my bitterest and cruelest enemies; as soon as they saw me bend a little under fear, they shoved me down and used all their wickedness and treachery to destroy me. Since I now have to go to Cyzicus, where letters will reach me less often, please write all the more carefully about everything you think I need to know. Love my brother Quintus. If, wretched as I am, I can leave him safe, I will not think I have been wholly destroyed.
Written August 5.
AI-assisted translation - This translation was produced with AI assistance and has not been peer-reviewed. See the 19th-century translation or original Latin/Greek below for scholarly use.
Latin / Greek Original
quod ad te scripseram me in Epiro futurum, postea quam extenuari spem nostram et evanescere vidi, mutavi consilium nec me Thessalonica commovi, ubi esse statueram quoad aliquid ad me de eo scriberes, quod proximis litteris scripseras fore uti secundum comitia aliquid de nobis in senatu ageretur; id tibi Pompeium dixisse. qua de re quoniam comitia habita sunt tuque nihil ad me scribis, proinde habebo ac si scripsisses nihil esse neque (me) temporis non longinqui spe ductum esse moleste feram. quem autem motum te videre scripseras qui nobis utilis fore videretur, eum nuntiant qui veniunt nullum fore. in tribunis pl. designatis reliqua spes est. quam si exspectaro, non erit quod putes me causae meae, voluntati meorum defuisse. [2] quod me saepe accusas cur hunc meum casum tam graviter feram, debes ignoscere, cum ita me adflictum videas ut neminem umquam nec videris nec audieris. nam quod scribis te audire me etiam mentis errore ex dolore adfici, mihi vero mens integra est. atque utinam tam in periculo fuisset! cum ego iis quibus meam salutem carissimam esse arbitrabar inimicissimis crudelissimisque usus sum; qui, ut me paulum inclinari timore viderunt, sic impulerunt ut omni suo scelere et perfidia abuterentur ad exitium meum. nunc quoniam est Cyzicum nobis eundum, quo rarius ad me litterae perferentur, hoc velim diligentius omnia quae putaris me scire opus esse perscribas. Quintum fratrem meum fac diligas; quem ego miser si incolumem relinquo, non me totum perisse arbitrabor. data Nonis Sextilibus.