Marcus Tullius Cicero→Titus Pomponius Atticus|c. 58 BC|Cicero|From Rome|To Rome/Athens|AI-assisted
When my brother Quintus had left Asia before the first of May and reached Athens on the Ides, he had to make great haste, lest in his absence he should meet with some disaster, in case there happened to be anyone who was not satisfied with our misfortunes. And so I preferred that he should hurry to Rome rather than come to me; and at the same time (for I will say what is true, so that from it you may perceive the magnitude of my miseries) I could not bring myself either to look upon him, so deeply devoted to me and so tender of heart, in such great grief, or, crushed by mourning, to present my miseries and my ruined fortune to him, or to allow myself to be looked upon by him. And there was this too that I feared, which surely would have happened: that he could not have torn himself away from me. There hovered before my eyes that moment when he would either dismiss his lictors or be wrenched away by force from my embrace. The outcome of this bitterness I avoided by another bitterness, that of not seeing my brother. Into this calamity it was you all who, as my advisers to go on living, drove me. [2] And so I am paying the penalty for my fault. And yet your letters sustain me, from which I easily perceive how much you yourself hope; though indeed they had a certain measure of comfort before you came to this point, from Pompey: "Now win over Hortensius and men of that kind." I beg you, my dear Pomponius, do you not yet perceive by whose agency, by whose plots, by whose crime we have perished? But all these matters I shall treat with you face to face; I only say what I think you know: that it was not enemies but envious men who ruined us. Now if things are as you hope, we shall hold ourselves up and rely on the hope you bid us cherish; but if, as they seem to me, they are without strength, then what could not be done at the most favorable time shall be done at a less suitable one. [3] Terentia often gives you her thanks. For me too there is even now one of my woes that I dread: the affair of my poor brother; for if I knew of what sort it is, I should know what I must do. Even now the expectation of those men's good offices and of letters, as you wish, keeps me at Thessalonica. If any news is brought, I shall know what must be done about the rest. If you set out from Rome, as you write, on the first of June, you will see us before long. The letter which I wrote to Pompey I have sent to you. Dispatched on the Ides of June, at Thessalonica.
My brother Quintus left Asia at the end of April and reached Athens on May the 15th: and he had to hurry, for fear anything disastrous might happen in his absence, if there were anyone who was not yet contented with the measure of our woes. So I preferred him to hurry on to Rome rather than to come to me: and besides—I will confess the
truth and it will show you the depth of my misery—I could not bear in my great distress to look on one so devoted to me and so tender-hearted, nor could I thrust upon him the misery of my affliction and my fallen fortune, or suffer him to see me. Besides I was afraid of what would have been sure to happen—that he would not be able to part from me. The picture of the moment when he would have had to dismiss his lictors or to be torn by force from my arms was ever before me. The bitterness of parting I have avoided by the bitterness of not seeing my brother. That is the kind of dilemma into which you who are responsible for my survival have forced me; and so I have to pay the penalty for my mistake. Your letter however cheers me, though I can easily see from it how little hope you have yourself. Still it offered some little consolation till you passed from your mention of Pompey to the passage: “Now try to win over Hortensius and such people.” In heaven’s name, my dear Pomponius, have you not yet grasped, whose agency, whose villainy and whose treachery have ruined me? But that I will discuss when I meet you. Now I will only say, what you must surely know, that it is not so much my enemies as my enviers who have ruined me. If there is any real foundation for your hopes, I will bear up and rely on the hope you suggest. But if, as seems probable to me, your hopes are ill-founded, then I will do now what you would not let me do before, though the time is far less appropriate.
Terentia often expresses her gratitude to you. The thing I most fear among all my misfortunes is my poor brother’s business: if I knew the exact state of affairs, I might know what to do about it. I am
following your advice and still staying at Thessalonica in hope of the advantages you mention and of letters. When I get some news, I shall be able to shape my course of action. If you started from Rome on the first of June, as you say, I shall very soon see you. I have sent you the letter I wrote to Pompey.
Thessalonica, 13 June.
Quintus frater cum ex Asia discessisset ante Kal. Maias et Athenas venisset Idibus, valde fuit ei properandum, ne quid absens acciperet calamitatis, si quis forte fuisset qui contentus nostris malis non esset. itaque eum malui properare Romam quam ad me venire et simul (dicam enim quod verum est, ex quo magnitudinem miseriarum mearum perspicere possis) animum inducere non potui ut aut illum amantissimum mei mollissimo animo tanto in maerore aspicerem aut meas miserias luctu adflictus et perditam fortunam illi offerrem aut ab illo aspici paterer. atque etiam illud timebam, quod profecto accidisset, ne a me digredi non posset. versabatur mihi tempus illud ante oculos quom ille aut lictores dimitteret aut vi avelleretur ex complexu meo. huius acerbitatis eventum altera acerbitate non videndi fratris vitavi. in hunc me casum vos vivendi auctores impulistis. [2] itaque mei peccati luo poenas. quam quam me tuae litterae sustentant ex quibus quantum tu ipse speres facile perspicio; quae quidem tamen aliquid habebant solaci ante quam eo venisti a Pompeio. 'nunc Hortensium adlice et eius modi viros.' obsecro, mi Pomponi, nondum perspicis quorum opera, quorum insidiis, quorum scelere perierimus? sed tecum haec omnia coram agemus; tantum dico quod scire te puto, nos non inimici sed invidi perdiderunt. nunc si ita sunt quae speras, sustinebimus nos et spe qua iubes nitemur; sin, ut mihi videntur, infirma sunt, quod optimo tempore facere non licuit minus idoneo fiet. [3] Terentia tibi saepe agit gratias. mihi etiam unum de malis in metu est, fratris miseri negotium; quod si sciam quoius modi sit, sciam quid agendum mihi sit. me etiam nunc istorum beneficiorum et litterarum exspectatio, ut tibi placet, Thessalonicae tenet. si quid erit novi adlatum, sciam de reliquo quid agendum sit. tu si, ut scribis, Kal. Iuniis Roma profectus es, prope diem nos videbis. Litteras quas ad Pompeium scripsi tibi misi. data id. Iun. Thessalonicae.
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When my brother Quintus had left Asia before the first of May and reached Athens on the Ides, he had to make great haste, lest in his absence he should meet with some disaster, in case there happened to be anyone who was not satisfied with our misfortunes. And so I preferred that he should hurry to Rome rather than come to me; and at the same time (for I will say what is true, so that from it you may perceive the magnitude of my miseries) I could not bring myself either to look upon him, so deeply devoted to me and so tender of heart, in such great grief, or, crushed by mourning, to present my miseries and my ruined fortune to him, or to allow myself to be looked upon by him. And there was this too that I feared, which surely would have happened: that he could not have torn himself away from me. There hovered before my eyes that moment when he would either dismiss his lictors or be wrenched away by force from my embrace. The outcome of this bitterness I avoided by another bitterness, that of not seeing my brother. Into this calamity it was you all who, as my advisers to go on living, drove me. [2] And so I am paying the penalty for my fault. And yet your letters sustain me, from which I easily perceive how much you yourself hope; though indeed they had a certain measure of comfort before you came to this point, from Pompey: "Now win over Hortensius and men of that kind." I beg you, my dear Pomponius, do you not yet perceive by whose agency, by whose plots, by whose crime we have perished? But all these matters I shall treat with you face to face; I only say what I think you know: that it was not enemies but envious men who ruined us. Now if things are as you hope, we shall hold ourselves up and rely on the hope you bid us cherish; but if, as they seem to me, they are without strength, then what could not be done at the most favorable time shall be done at a less suitable one. [3] Terentia often gives you her thanks. For me too there is even now one of my woes that I dread: the affair of my poor brother; for if I knew of what sort it is, I should know what I must do. Even now the expectation of those men's good offices and of letters, as you wish, keeps me at Thessalonica. If any news is brought, I shall know what must be done about the rest. If you set out from Rome, as you write, on the first of June, you will see us before long. The letter which I wrote to Pompey I have sent to you. Dispatched on the Ides of June, at Thessalonica.
AI-assisted translation - This translation was produced with AI assistance and has not been peer-reviewed. See the 19th-century translation or original Latin/Greek below for scholarly use.
Latin / Greek Original
Quintus frater cum ex Asia discessisset ante Kal. Maias et Athenas venisset Idibus, valde fuit ei properandum, ne quid absens acciperet calamitatis, si quis forte fuisset qui contentus nostris malis non esset. itaque eum malui properare Romam quam ad me venire et simul (dicam enim quod verum est, ex quo magnitudinem miseriarum mearum perspicere possis) animum inducere non potui ut aut illum amantissimum mei mollissimo animo tanto in maerore aspicerem aut meas miserias luctu adflictus et perditam fortunam illi offerrem aut ab illo aspici paterer. atque etiam illud timebam, quod profecto accidisset, ne a me digredi non posset. versabatur mihi tempus illud ante oculos quom ille aut lictores dimitteret aut vi avelleretur ex complexu meo. huius acerbitatis eventum altera acerbitate non videndi fratris vitavi. in hunc me casum vos vivendi auctores impulistis. [2] itaque mei peccati luo poenas. quam quam me tuae litterae sustentant ex quibus quantum tu ipse speres facile perspicio; quae quidem tamen aliquid habebant solaci ante quam eo venisti a Pompeio. 'nunc Hortensium adlice et eius modi viros.' obsecro, mi Pomponi, nondum perspicis quorum opera, quorum insidiis, quorum scelere perierimus? sed tecum haec omnia coram agemus; tantum dico quod scire te puto, nos non inimici sed invidi perdiderunt. nunc si ita sunt quae speras, sustinebimus nos et spe qua iubes nitemur; sin, ut mihi videntur, infirma sunt, quod optimo tempore facere non licuit minus idoneo fiet. [3] Terentia tibi saepe agit gratias. mihi etiam unum de malis in metu est, fratris miseri negotium; quod si sciam quoius modi sit, sciam quid agendum mihi sit. me etiam nunc istorum beneficiorum et litterarum exspectatio, ut tibi placet, Thessalonicae tenet. si quid erit novi adlatum, sciam de reliquo quid agendum sit. tu si, ut scribis, Kal. Iuniis Roma profectus es, prope diem nos videbis. Litteras quas ad Pompeium scripsi tibi misi. data id. Iun. Thessalonicae.