Letter 210

I had just sent you a letter about several matters when Dionysius came to me very early in the morning. I would not merely have shown myself reconciled to him; I would have forgiven the whole matter if he had arrived in the spirit you described to me. Your letter, which I received at Arpinum, said he would come and do what I wanted. What I wanted, or rather longed for, was that he be with us. Because he had plainly cut that off when he came to Formiae, I used to write to you about him rather sharply. But after saying very little, the whole substance of his speech was this: that I should excuse him; his own affairs prevented him from going with us. I answered briefly. I felt great pain. I understood that he had looked down on my fortune. What more? Perhaps you will be surprised, but you should know that, amid the greatest pains of these times, this is one of them for me. I hope he remains your friend. In wishing that for you, I am wishing you happiness, for he will be your friend only so long as you are fortunate. I hope our plan will be free from danger. We have concealed it, and I think I will not be watched too keenly. Only let the voyage be as I wish; everything else that can be provided for by planning will be guarded against. While I am still here, please write not only what you know or hear, but also what you foresee. Cato could have held Sicily with no trouble, and if he had held it all good men would have gathered to him. Yet he sailed from Syracuse on April 23, as Curio wrote to me. If only Cotta is holding Sardinia, as they say; there is such a rumor. If that is true, what a disgrace for Cato. To lessen suspicion of my departure or my thinking about it, I went to my place at Pompeii on May 12, so that I could be there while the things needed for sailing were prepared. When I reached the villa, someone came to me: "The centurions of the three cohorts at Pompeii want to meet you tomorrow." This was our friend Ninnius speaking. "They want to hand themselves and the town over to you." But the next day I left the villa before dawn so that they would not see me at all. What was there in three cohorts? What if there were more? With what equipment? I was thinking of those same Caelian matters I read in your letter, which I received the same day I came to Cumae, and it could also have been a test. So I removed every suspicion. While I was returning, however, Hortensius had come and had turned aside to greet Terentia. He had spoken of me respectfully. I think I shall now see him; he has sent a slave to say he is coming to me. That at least is better than our colleague Antony, whose actress is carried in a litter among his lictors. Since you are free from the quartan fever and have driven off not only the new illness but also the cold, present yourself to us in Greece fresh and strong, and send some letter in the meantime.

I had just sent a letter to you about a number of matters, when very early in the morning Dionysius came to my house. I should not only have been civil to him, I should have pardoned him altogether, if he had come in the spirit you described. For the letter I got at Arpinum said that he was coming and would do whatever I wanted; and I wanted or rather longed that he should be with me. It was because he had flatly refused to do so, when he came to my villa at Formiae, I used to write to you about him rather bitterly. However, after the first greeting, he said, to put it shortly, that I must excuse him and that business prevented his going with me. I said little in reply, but I was greatly hurt, for I understood that he looked down on my fortunes. You may be astonished, but you must know that this is one of the greatest sorrows I have suffered in this crisis. I hope that he may be a friend to you. When I wish that, I wish you prosperity, for just so long he will be your friend. My plan, I hope, will be free from risk, for I have kept the matter a secret, and, as I think, I shall not be watched very keenly. Only let the voyage be as good as I want, and all precautions that foresight can suggest will be taken. While I am here, please write not only anything you know or hear, but even what you foresee. Cato, who could have held Sicily without any trouble—and, if he had held it, all loyalists would have flocked to him—sailed from Syracuse on the 23rd of April, as Curio has informed me by letter. I only hope Cotta may hold Sardinia, as they say, for there is a rumour to that effect. If that happens, what a reflection of Cato! To lessen suspicion of my journey and intentions I started for my place at Pompeii on the 12th of May to stay there while the necessary provisions were made for my voyage. When I arrived, I was told the centurions of the three cohorts here wished to visit me the next day. That was what my friend Ninnius said—that they wished to hand over themselves and the town to me. But I left the next morning before daybreak, so that they should not see me at all: for what was the use of three cohorts, or more indeed? And what was our equipment? I pondered too over the matter of Caelius when I read it in your letter, which I received on the same day as I arrived at Cumae. It was possible too that it was a mere ruse, so I did away with all grounds of suspicion. But, while I was on my way back, Hortensius came, and turned out of his way to greet Terentia, and he had spoken of me with much courtesy. I think I shall see him soon, for he has sent a servant to announce his coming. This is better behaviour than that of my fellow augur Antony, who carries an actress in a sedan among his lictors. As you have lost your quartan fever and have not only thrown off your new malady but also your cold, you must present yourself before me sound and fit in Greece. Meanwhile drop me a line.

[1] Commodum ad te dederam litteras de pluribus rebus cum ad me bene mane Dionysius fuit. quoi quidem ego non modo placabilem me praebuissem sed totum remisissem, si advenisset qua mente tu ad me scripseras. erat enim sic in tuis litteris quas Arpini acceperam, eum venturum facturumque quod ego vellem. ego volebam autem vel cupiebam potius esse eum nobiscum. quod quia plane, cum in Formianum venisset, praeciderat, asperius ad te de eo scribere solebam. at ille perpauca locutus hanc summam habuit orationis ut sibi ignoscerem; se rebus suis impeditum nobiscum ire non posse. pauca respondi, magnum accepi dolorem, intellexi fortunam ab eo nostram despectam esse. quid quaeris? (fortasse miraberis) in maximis horum temporum doloribus hunc mihi scito esse. velim ut tibi amicus sit. hoc cum tibi opto, opto ut beatus sis; erit enim tam diu. [2] consilium nostrum spero vacuum periculo fore. nam et dissimulavimus et, ut opinor, (non) acerrime adservabimur. navigatio modo sit qualem opto, cetera, quae quidem consilio provideri poterunt, cavebuntur. tu, dum adsumus, non modo quae scies audierisve sed etiam quae futura providebis scribas velim. [3] Cato, qui Siciliam tenere nullo negotio potuit (et, si tenuisset, omnes boni ad eum se contulissent), Syracusis profectus est ante diem viii K. Mai., ut ad me Curio scripsit. Vtinam, quod aiunt, Cotta Sardiniam teneat! est enim rumor. O, si id fuerit, turpem Catonem! [4] ego ut minuerem suspicionem profectionis aut cogitationis meae, profectus sum in Pompeianum a. d. iii Idus ut ibi essem dum quae ad navigandum opus essent pararentur. Cum ad villam venissem, ventum est ad me: 'centuriones trium cohortium, quae Pompeiis sunt, me velle postridie convenire'—haec mecum Ninnius noster,—'velle eos mihi se et oppidum tradere.' at ego abii postridie a villa ante lucem, ut me omnino illi ne viderent. quid enim erat in tribus cohortibus? quid si plures? quo apparatu? cogitavi eadem illa Caeliana quae legi in epistula tua quam accepi simul et in Cumanum veni eodem die, et [simul] fieri poterat ut temptaremur. omnem igitur suspicionem sustuli. [5] sed, dum redeo, Hortensius venerat et ad me Terentiam salutatum deverterat. sermone erat usus honorifico erga me. iam eum, ut puto, videbo; misit enim puerum se ad me venire. hoc quidem melius quam conlega noster Antonius, cuius inter lictores lectica mima portatur. [6] tu quoniam quartana cares et novum morbum removisti sed etiam gravedinem, teque vegetum nobis in Graecia siste et litterarum aliquid interea.