Gaius Matius→Marcus Tullius Cicero|c. 43 BC|Cicero|From Rome|To Rome|AI-assisted
Your letter delighted me, because I learned that your opinion of me is what I had hoped and wished it to be. I had not doubted it, but because I valued it so highly, I was anxious that it remain untouched.
I was conscious that I had done nothing to offend the mind of any good man. For that reason I was even less able to believe that you, adorned with so many excellent qualities, could have been persuaded of anything rashly, especially against a man whose goodwill toward you had been and still is steady and complete.
Since I now know that matters stand as I wished, I will answer the charges that you, as was fitting for your singular kindness and our friendship, have often resisted on my behalf.
I know what they have hurled at me since Caesar's death. They blame me because I take the death of a close friend heavily and resent that the man I loved has perished. They say the fatherland should be preferred to friendship, as though they had already proved that his death was useful to the republic.
But I will not be clever about it. I admit that I have not reached that height of wisdom. In the civil conflict, I did not follow Caesar as a political cause; I did not abandon a friend, even though the situation offended me. I never approved of civil war, nor even of the cause of the quarrel, which I worked with all my strength to extinguish while it was still beginning.
So, in the victory of a man bound closely to me, I was not captured by the sweetness of office or money. Others who had less influence with him than I did abused those rewards without restraint. My own property was even diminished by Caesar's law, by whose benefit many of the men who now rejoice at Caesar's death remained citizens.
I worked as hard for defeated citizens to be spared as I did for my own safety. Since I wanted everyone safe, can I fail to resent that the man from whom that mercy was obtained has perished, especially when the same men caused both the hatred against him and his death?
"So you are punished," they say, "because you dare disapprove of our deed." What unheard-of arrogance: some men boast of a crime, while others are not even allowed to grieve without penalty. Even slaves have always been free to fear, rejoice, and grieve by their own judgment rather than another's. Now these so-called champions of liberty are trying to tear that freedom from us by fear. They accomplish nothing. No threat of any danger will ever make me desert duty or humanity. I have always thought that an honorable death is never to be fled from, and often even to be sought.
Why are they angry with me if I wish them to repent of what they did? I want Caesar's death to be bitter to everyone.
"But as a citizen," they say, "I ought to want the republic safe." If my past life and the rest of my hopes do not prove, without my speaking, that I want this, I do not expect to win the point by words. So I ask you most earnestly to consider facts more important than speech. If you think it matters that right be done, believe that I can have no fellowship with wicked men.
Am I now, with life already hurrying toward its end, to change and undo myself in common with others, abandoning what I maintained as a young man, when even error could have had some excuse? I will not do it. Nor will I commit anything displeasing, except that I grieve over the heavy fall of a man most closely joined to me and of the highest distinction.
If I were otherwise minded, I would never deny what I was doing, lest I be thought both wicked in wrongdoing and cowardly and empty in concealing it.
"But you supervised the games that young Caesar gave for Caesar's victory." That belongs to private duty, not to the constitution of the republic. Still, I owed that service to the memory and honors of a very close friend, even after death; and I could not refuse a young man of the best promise, most worthy of Caesar, when he asked it.
I have also often gone to the house of the consul Antony to pay my respects. Those who think me insufficiently devoted to the fatherland will be found going there in crowds to ask for something or carry something off.
What arrogance is this? Caesar never interfered with my being close to anyone I wished, even people he himself did not like. Yet the men who took my friend from me are trying, by attacking me, to make it impossible for me to love whom I choose.
I am not afraid that the moderation of my life will lack strength in the future against false rumors. Nor am I afraid that even the men who do not love me because of my constancy toward Caesar would not rather have friends like me than friends like themselves.
If my wishes come about, I will spend what remains of life in quiet at Rhodes. If some chance interrupts that, I will be at Rome in such a way that I always desire right to be done.
I give our Trebatius great thanks, because he opened to me your sincere and friendly feeling toward me, and because he made me more justly bound to cherish and honor a man whom I have always loved gladly.
Farewell, and love me.
DCCLXXXII (Fam. XI, 28) C. MATIUS TO CICERO (AT TUSCULUM) ROME (AUGUST) Your letter gave me great pleasure by convincing me that your opinion of me was what I had hoped and wished that it should be. And although I had no doubt about that, yet, as I valued it very highly, I was anxious that it should remain intact. I was, moreover, conscious in my own mind of having done nothing calculated to wound the feelings of any good man. Therefore I was all the less inclined to believe that a man of your many splendid qualities could be induced to adopt any opinion inconsiderately, especially as my good feeling towards you had always been, and still was, heartfelt and uninterrupted. As then I know this to be as I wished it to be, I will now answer the charges, which — as was natural from your unparalleled kindness and our friendship-you have often rebutted in my behalf. Now I am well acquainted with the allegations made against me since Caesar 's death. People blame me for showing grief at the death of a dear friend, and expressing my indignation that the man whom I loved had been killed. For they say that country should be preferred to friendship, as though they had actually proved that his death has been beneficial to the Republic. Well, I will speak frankly. I confess that I have not attained to that height of philosophy. For in the political controversy it was not Caesar that I followed, but it was a friend whom — though disapproving of what was being done — I yet refused to desert. Nor did I ever approve of a civil war, nor of the motive of the quarrel, which in fact I strove my utmost to have nipped in the bud. Accordingly, when my friend was victorious I was not fascinated by the charm either of promotion or of money-rewards upon which others, though less influential with him than I was, seized with such intemperate avidity. In fact, even my own personal property was curtailed by the law of Caesar , thanks to which most of those who now exult in Caesar 's death maintained their position in the state. I was as anxious that conquered citizens should be spared as I was for my own safety. Wishing therefore the preservation of all, could I fail to be indignant that the man by whose means that preservation had been secured had perished? Especially when the very same men had caused both the feeling against him. and the death which befell him. “Well then,” say they, “you are assailed for venturing to show your disapprobation of our deed.” What unheard — of tyranny! One party are to boast of a crime, others are not to be allowed even to grieve at it with impunity! Why, even slaves have always been free to fear, to rejoice, and to grieve at their own will rather than at the behest of another-emotions of which, to judge from the frequent remarks of your champions of liberty, they are now endeavouring to deprive us by force. But they are throwing away their labour. I shall never be deterred from duty and humanity by the threats of any danger. For I have convinced myself that an honourable death is never to be shunned, is often even to be sought. But why are they angry with me for wishing them to repent of what they have do e? For I desire Caesar 's death to be regretted by all. 'But," say they, “I ought as a citizen to desire the safety of the Republic.” If my past life and future hopes do not prove me — without my saying a word — to desire that, I do not expect to convince them by anything I can say. Therefore I ask you with more than usual earnestness to regard facts as more convincing than words; and if you think it good for the world that right should prevail, to believe that I can have nothing in common with criminals. The principles which I maintained as a young man, when I might have had some excuse for going wrong, am I now that my life is drawing to its close entirely to change and with my own lips to give the lie to my whole career? I will not do so! Yet I will not act in a way to cause offence farther than by avowing my grief at the hard fate of one so deeply loved, and a man of such extraordinary distinction. But if I were otherwise disposed I would never deny what I was doing, lest I should get the reputation of being at once unscrupulous in committing crime, and timid and false in disavowing it. But, say they, “I superintended the games given by the young Caesar in honour of Caesar 's victory.” That is a matter of private obligation with no constitutional significance. Yet, after all, a service which I was bound to render to the memory of a dear friend even after his death, I could not refuse to the request of a young man of very great promise and in the highest degree worthy of Caesar . I have also frequently been to the house of the consul Antonius to pay my respects. Yes, and those who now regard me as unpatriotic you will find going there in crowds to prefer some petition or to pocket some bounty. But what insolence is this that, whereas Caesar never interfered with my being intimate with whom I chose, even with those whom he personally disliked, these men who have torn my friend from me should now endeavour by their captious remarks to prevent my loving whom I choose? But I have no fear either of the regularity of my life not being sufficient to protect me hereafter, or of those very men who hate me for my constancy to Caesar not preferring to have friends like me rather than like themselves. For myself, if I get what I like, I shall spend the remainder of my life in retirement at Rhodes : but if some accident intervenes, though I am at Rome I shall always desire the right to prevail. I am very much obliged to our friend Trebatius , for having shown me your true-hearted and affectionate feeling towards myself, and for having given me additional reasons for being still more bound to cultivate and respect a man for whom I have always felt a spontaneous affection. Good-bye, and do not cease to love me.
XXVIII. Scr. Roame exeunte mense Maio a.u.c. 710. MATIUS CICERONI SAL.
Magnam voluptatem ex tuis litteris cepi, quod, quam speraram atque optaram, habere te de me opinionem cognovi; de qua etsi non dubitabam, tamen, quia maximi aestimabam, ut incorrupta maneret, laborabam. Conscius autem mihi eram nihil a me commissum esse, quod boni cuiusquam offenderet animum: eo minus credebam plurimis atque optimis artibus ornato tibi temere quidquam persuaderi potuisse, praesertim in quem mea propensa et perpetua fuisset atque esset benevolentia; quod quoniam, ut volui, scio esse, respondebo criminibus, quibus tu pro me, ut par erat tua singulari bonitate et amicitia nostra, saepe restitisti. Nota enim mihi sunt, quae in me post Caesaris mortem contulerint: vitio mihi dant, quod mortem hominis necessarii graviter fero atque eum, quem dilexi, perisse indignor; aiunt enim patriam amicitae praeponendam esse, proinde ac si iam vicerint obitum eius rei publicae fuisse utilem. Sed non agam astute: fateor me ad istum gradum sapiente no pervenisse; neque enim Caesarem in dissensione civili sum secutus, sed amicum, quamquam re offendebar, tamen non deserui, neque bellum umquam civile aut etiam causam dissensionis probavi, quam etiam nascentem exstingui summe studui. Itaque in victoria hominis necessarii neque honoris neque pecuniae dulcedine sum captus, quibus praemiis reliqui, minus apud eum quam ego cum possent, immoderate sunt abusi. Atque etiam res familiaris mea lege Caesaris deminuta est, cuius beneficio plerique, qui Caesaris morte laetantur, remanserunt in civitate. Civibus victis ut parceretur, aeque ac pro mea salute laboravi. Possum igitur, qui omnes voluerim incolumes, eum, a quo id impetratum est, perisse non indignari? cum praesertim iidem homines illi et invidiae et exitio fuerint. "Plecteris ergo," inquiunt, "quoniam factum nostrum improbare audes." O superbiam inauditam, alios in facinore gloriari, aliis ne dolere quidem impunite licere! At haec etiam servis semper libera fuerunt, ut timerent, gauderent, dolerent suo potius quam alterius arbitrio; quae nunc, ut quidem isti dictitant libertatis auctores, metu nobis extorquere conantur; sed nihil agunt: nullius umquam periculi terroribus ab officio aut ab humanitate desciscam; numquam enim honestam mortem fugiendam, saepe etiam oppetendam putavi. Sed quid mihi suscensent, si id opto, ut poeniteat eos sui facti? cupio enim Caesaris mortem omnibus esse acerbam. "At debeo pro civili parte rem publica velle salvam." Id quidem me cupere, nisi et ante acta vita et reliqua mea spes tacente me probat, dicendo vincere non postulo. Quare maiorem in modum te rogo, ut rem potiorem oratione ducas mihique, si sentis expedire recte fieri, credas nullam communionem cum improbis esse posse. An, quod adolescens praestiti, cum etiam errare cum excusatione possem, id nunc aetate praecipitata communem commutem ac me ipse retexam? Non faciam neque, quod displiceat, committam, praeterquam quod hominis mihi coniunctissimi ac viri amplissimi doleo gravem casum. Quod si aliter essem animatus, numquam, quod facerem, negarem, ne et in peccando improbus et in dissimulando timidus ac vanus existimarer. "At ludos, quos Caesaris victoriae Caesar adolescens fecit, curavi." At id ad privatum officium, non ad statum rei publicae pertinet; quod tamen munus et hominis amicissimi memoriae atque honoribus praestare etiam mortui debui et optimae spei adolescenti ac dignissimo Caesare petenti negare non potui. Veni etiam consulis Antonii domum saepe salutandi causa; ad quem, qui me parum patriae amantem esse existimant, rogandi quidem aliquid aut auferendi causa frequentes ventitare reperies. Sed quae haec ast arrogantia, quod Caesar numquam interpellavit, quin, quibus vellem atque etiam quos ipse non diligebat, tamen iis uterer, eos, qui mihi amicum eripuerunt, carpendo me efficere conari, ne, quos velim, diligam? Sed non vereor, ne aut meae vitae modestia parum valitura sit in posterum contra falsos rumores, aut ne etiam ii, qui me non amant propter meam in Caesarem constantiam, non malint mei quam sui similes amicos habere. Mihi quidem si optata contingent, quod reliquum est vitae, in otio Rhodi degam; sin casus aliquis interpellarit, ita ero Romae, ut recte fieri semper cupiam. Trebatio nostro magnas ago gratias, quod tuum erga me animum simplicem atque amicum aperuit et quod, eum, quem semper libenter dilexi, quo magis iure colere atque observare deberem, fecit. Bene vale et me dilige.
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Your letter delighted me, because I learned that your opinion of me is what I had hoped and wished it to be. I had not doubted it, but because I valued it so highly, I was anxious that it remain untouched.
I was conscious that I had done nothing to offend the mind of any good man. For that reason I was even less able to believe that you, adorned with so many excellent qualities, could have been persuaded of anything rashly, especially against a man whose goodwill toward you had been and still is steady and complete.
Since I now know that matters stand as I wished, I will answer the charges that you, as was fitting for your singular kindness and our friendship, have often resisted on my behalf.
I know what they have hurled at me since Caesar's death. They blame me because I take the death of a close friend heavily and resent that the man I loved has perished. They say the fatherland should be preferred to friendship, as though they had already proved that his death was useful to the republic.
But I will not be clever about it. I admit that I have not reached that height of wisdom. In the civil conflict, I did not follow Caesar as a political cause; I did not abandon a friend, even though the situation offended me. I never approved of civil war, nor even of the cause of the quarrel, which I worked with all my strength to extinguish while it was still beginning.
So, in the victory of a man bound closely to me, I was not captured by the sweetness of office or money. Others who had less influence with him than I did abused those rewards without restraint. My own property was even diminished by Caesar's law, by whose benefit many of the men who now rejoice at Caesar's death remained citizens.
I worked as hard for defeated citizens to be spared as I did for my own safety. Since I wanted everyone safe, can I fail to resent that the man from whom that mercy was obtained has perished, especially when the same men caused both the hatred against him and his death?
"So you are punished," they say, "because you dare disapprove of our deed." What unheard-of arrogance: some men boast of a crime, while others are not even allowed to grieve without penalty. Even slaves have always been free to fear, rejoice, and grieve by their own judgment rather than another's. Now these so-called champions of liberty are trying to tear that freedom from us by fear. They accomplish nothing. No threat of any danger will ever make me desert duty or humanity. I have always thought that an honorable death is never to be fled from, and often even to be sought.
Why are they angry with me if I wish them to repent of what they did? I want Caesar's death to be bitter to everyone.
"But as a citizen," they say, "I ought to want the republic safe." If my past life and the rest of my hopes do not prove, without my speaking, that I want this, I do not expect to win the point by words. So I ask you most earnestly to consider facts more important than speech. If you think it matters that right be done, believe that I can have no fellowship with wicked men.
Am I now, with life already hurrying toward its end, to change and undo myself in common with others, abandoning what I maintained as a young man, when even error could have had some excuse? I will not do it. Nor will I commit anything displeasing, except that I grieve over the heavy fall of a man most closely joined to me and of the highest distinction.
If I were otherwise minded, I would never deny what I was doing, lest I be thought both wicked in wrongdoing and cowardly and empty in concealing it.
"But you supervised the games that young Caesar gave for Caesar's victory." That belongs to private duty, not to the constitution of the republic. Still, I owed that service to the memory and honors of a very close friend, even after death; and I could not refuse a young man of the best promise, most worthy of Caesar, when he asked it.
I have also often gone to the house of the consul Antony to pay my respects. Those who think me insufficiently devoted to the fatherland will be found going there in crowds to ask for something or carry something off.
What arrogance is this? Caesar never interfered with my being close to anyone I wished, even people he himself did not like. Yet the men who took my friend from me are trying, by attacking me, to make it impossible for me to love whom I choose.
I am not afraid that the moderation of my life will lack strength in the future against false rumors. Nor am I afraid that even the men who do not love me because of my constancy toward Caesar would not rather have friends like me than friends like themselves.
If my wishes come about, I will spend what remains of life in quiet at Rhodes. If some chance interrupts that, I will be at Rome in such a way that I always desire right to be done.
I give our Trebatius great thanks, because he opened to me your sincere and friendly feeling toward me, and because he made me more justly bound to cherish and honor a man whom I have always loved gladly.
Farewell, and love me.
AI-assisted translation - This translation was produced with AI assistance and has not been peer-reviewed. See the 19th-century translation or original Latin/Greek below for scholarly use.
Latin / Greek Original
XXVIII. Scr. Roame exeunte mense Maio a.u.c. 710. MATIUS CICERONI SAL.
Magnam voluptatem ex tuis litteris cepi, quod, quam speraram atque optaram, habere te de me opinionem cognovi; de qua etsi non dubitabam, tamen, quia maximi aestimabam, ut incorrupta maneret, laborabam. Conscius autem mihi eram nihil a me commissum esse, quod boni cuiusquam offenderet animum: eo minus credebam plurimis atque optimis artibus ornato tibi temere quidquam persuaderi potuisse, praesertim in quem mea propensa et perpetua fuisset atque esset benevolentia; quod quoniam, ut volui, scio esse, respondebo criminibus, quibus tu pro me, ut par erat tua singulari bonitate et amicitia nostra, saepe restitisti. Nota enim mihi sunt, quae in me post Caesaris mortem contulerint: vitio mihi dant, quod mortem hominis necessarii graviter fero atque eum, quem dilexi, perisse indignor; aiunt enim patriam amicitae praeponendam esse, proinde ac si iam vicerint obitum eius rei publicae fuisse utilem. Sed non agam astute: fateor me ad istum gradum sapiente no pervenisse; neque enim Caesarem in dissensione civili sum secutus, sed amicum, quamquam re offendebar, tamen non deserui, neque bellum umquam civile aut etiam causam dissensionis probavi, quam etiam nascentem exstingui summe studui. Itaque in victoria hominis necessarii neque honoris neque pecuniae dulcedine sum captus, quibus praemiis reliqui, minus apud eum quam ego cum possent, immoderate sunt abusi. Atque etiam res familiaris mea lege Caesaris deminuta est, cuius beneficio plerique, qui Caesaris morte laetantur, remanserunt in civitate. Civibus victis ut parceretur, aeque ac pro mea salute laboravi. Possum igitur, qui omnes voluerim incolumes, eum, a quo id impetratum est, perisse non indignari? cum praesertim iidem homines illi et invidiae et exitio fuerint. "Plecteris ergo," inquiunt, "quoniam factum nostrum improbare audes." O superbiam inauditam, alios in facinore gloriari, aliis ne dolere quidem impunite licere! At haec etiam servis semper libera fuerunt, ut timerent, gauderent, dolerent suo potius quam alterius arbitrio; quae nunc, ut quidem isti dictitant libertatis auctores, metu nobis extorquere conantur; sed nihil agunt: nullius umquam periculi terroribus ab officio aut ab humanitate desciscam; numquam enim honestam mortem fugiendam, saepe etiam oppetendam putavi. Sed quid mihi suscensent, si id opto, ut poeniteat eos sui facti? cupio enim Caesaris mortem omnibus esse acerbam. "At debeo pro civili parte rem publica velle salvam." Id quidem me cupere, nisi et ante acta vita et reliqua mea spes tacente me probat, dicendo vincere non postulo. Quare maiorem in modum te rogo, ut rem potiorem oratione ducas mihique, si sentis expedire recte fieri, credas nullam communionem cum improbis esse posse. An, quod adolescens praestiti, cum etiam errare cum excusatione possem, id nunc aetate praecipitata communem commutem ac me ipse retexam? Non faciam neque, quod displiceat, committam, praeterquam quod hominis mihi coniunctissimi ac viri amplissimi doleo gravem casum. Quod si aliter essem animatus, numquam, quod facerem, negarem, ne et in peccando improbus et in dissimulando timidus ac vanus existimarer. "At ludos, quos Caesaris victoriae Caesar adolescens fecit, curavi." At id ad privatum officium, non ad statum rei publicae pertinet; quod tamen munus et hominis amicissimi memoriae atque honoribus praestare etiam mortui debui et optimae spei adolescenti ac dignissimo Caesare petenti negare non potui. Veni etiam consulis Antonii domum saepe salutandi causa; ad quem, qui me parum patriae amantem esse existimant, rogandi quidem aliquid aut auferendi causa frequentes ventitare reperies. Sed quae haec ast arrogantia, quod Caesar numquam interpellavit, quin, quibus vellem atque etiam quos ipse non diligebat, tamen iis uterer, eos, qui mihi amicum eripuerunt, carpendo me efficere conari, ne, quos velim, diligam? Sed non vereor, ne aut meae vitae modestia parum valitura sit in posterum contra falsos rumores, aut ne etiam ii, qui me non amant propter meam in Caesarem constantiam, non malint mei quam sui similes amicos habere. Mihi quidem si optata contingent, quod reliquum est vitae, in otio Rhodi degam; sin casus aliquis interpellarit, ita ero Romae, ut recte fieri semper cupiam. Trebatio nostro magnas ago gratias, quod tuum erga me animum simplicem atque amicum aperuit et quod, eum, quem semper libenter dilexi, quo magis iure colere atque observare deberem, fecit. Bene vale et me dilige.